The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram
illustration
Replace the word
illustrates
show examples
how
sugar
is made from
sugar
cane.
Overall
, there are seven stages, beginning with the growing of
sugar
canes from
stage
1 and
also
ending in
stage
7 with the drying and cooling of same.
Firstly
, from the first
stage
,
sugar
cane is planted and is allowed to mature between 12-18 months.
Further
,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
stage
2 it is harvested either manually or by using a tractor.
Furthermore
, it goes through a
process
of being crushed in a machine for the extraction of its juice which is
then
poured into
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
show examples
filter where the juice goes through a purification
process
. In
stage
5, we have the evaporator
process
where the juice is
then
heated to become a syrup.
Moreover
, the syrup goes through the centrifuge
stage
where
sugar
crystals are separated from syrup.
Finally
, in the
last
and the
seven
Correct your spelling
seventh
show examples
stage
Change to a plural noun
stages
show examples
, the
sugar
faces a drying and cooling
process
where the
sugar
is
finally
dried and cool and is ready for use or packing.
Submitted by pncubeterera on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, stage, process with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mature
  • harvest
  • extract
  • purification
  • impurities
  • evaporation
  • thick syrup
  • crystallization
  • centrifugation
  • molasses
  • raw sugar crystals
  • refinement
  • purify
  • whiten
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