In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

In
Correct article usage
the last
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last
Correct word choice
recent
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years
Correct quantifier usage
few years
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, many
people
leaved
Correct your spelling
left
show examples
their rural
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
and moved to cities.
This
phenomenon identified in many countries around the world. From my point of view,
this
phenomenon
represent
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represents
show examples
a positive development for some reasons.
For
Change preposition
In
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the beginning,
people
who move to the
city
need to search an accommodation and a job.
This
is an opportunity
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
many other
people
to have
financial
Add an article
a financial
the financial
show examples
source.
Such
,
people
build different
apartement
Correct your spelling
apartment
for these persons.
Then
, the rent of these apartments is a financial secour for
have
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having
show examples
budget
Add an article
a budget
the budget
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
daily life.
Secondly
, some
people
leave their rural
town
for opening
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to open
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their personal
affair
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affairs
show examples
or company. Indeed, to realise
this
goal, these
people
need workers. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
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, many
job
Change to a plural noun
jobs
show examples
will be offered to others.
This
result
help
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helps
show examples
to develop
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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economic level in the
city
.
Such
, the manager of many commercial and industrial companies has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
people
move to the
city
and open their personal
company
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companies
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.
Moreover
, these
people
needs
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need
show examples
leisure activities and spend
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
these activities.
Consequently
, it is an opportunity for the government to develop local tourism activity and to participate
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the growth of the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
in the country.
However
, the rural
place
is the most
place
visited by foreigners. Indeed, many natural
places
and monuments are located in rural
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
.
Then
, to increase the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
of visitors to these
places
, the government need workers who know
theses
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
places
better. These workers are the local
people
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
.
Such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
, many
people
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
work as
guide
Fix the agreement mistake
guides
show examples
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreigners. Others open restaurants and hotels. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, the government has only one solution to develop and maintain a high level of daily life in rural
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
. In sum, it is important recently in many countries to not make any difference between life in
city
or rural
places
. In fact, it is essential to make rural
people
stay in their
town
and participate
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the development and the growth of
theses
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
places
.
Submitted by rabebhamdi on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion on it. In this case, the introduction should mention both positive and negative aspects of rural to city migration before concluding that it is overall positive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on providing clearer and more comprehensive ideas in your response. Some points are repeated or unclear in their explanation. Make sure each paragraph introduces a unique idea and develops it fully.
relevant specific examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, mention specific benefits of city life or particular challenges faced in rural areas that might prompt people to move.
complete response
The essay identifies the issue and provides a stance on it, which is essential for addressing the task.
supported main points
The essay includes multiple points that support the main argument about the positive impacts of rural to city migration.
logical structure
There are structured paragraphs, and an introduction, body, and conclusion are present.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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