In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing Do you think this is a positive or a negative development
In
Correct article usage
the last
last
Correct word choice
recent
years
, many Correct quantifier usage
few years
people
leaved
their rural Correct your spelling
left
town
and moved to cities. Fix the agreement mistake
towns
This
phenomenon identified in many countries around the world. From my point of view, this
phenomenon represent
a positive development for some reasons.
Change the verb form
represents
For
the beginning, Change preposition
In
people
who move to the city
need to search an accommodation and a job. This
is an opportunity to
many other Change preposition
for
people
to have financial
source. Add an article
a financial
the financial
Such
, people
build different apartement
for these persons. Correct your spelling
apartment
Then
, the rent of these apartments is a financial secour for have
Change the verb form
having
budget
Add an article
a budget
the budget
of
daily life.
Change preposition
for
Secondly
, some people
leave their rural town
for opening
their personal Change preposition
to open
affair
or company. Indeed, to realise Fix the agreement mistake
affairs
this
goal, these people
need workers. As result
, many Correct article usage
a result
job
will be offered to others. Change to a plural noun
jobs
This
result help
to develop Change the verb form
helps
higher
economic level in the Correct article usage
a higher
city
. Such
, the manager of many commercial and industrial companies has a
rural Correct article usage
apply
people
move to the city
and open their personal company
.
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
Moreover
, these people
needs
leisure activities and spend Change the verb form
need
much
money Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
for
these activities. Change preposition
on
Consequently
, it is an opportunity for the government to develop local tourism activity and to participate to
the growth of the Change preposition
in
economic
in the country.
Replace the word
economy
However
, the rural place
is the most place
visited by foreigners. Indeed, many natural places
and monuments are located in rural place
. Fix the agreement mistake
places
Then
, to increase the percent
of visitors to these Replace the word
percentage
places
, the government need workers who know theses
Correct your spelling
these
places
better. These workers are the local people
in the
rural Correct article usage
apply
place
. Fix the agreement mistake
places
Such
, many Correct quantifier usage
apply
people
in the
rural Correct article usage
apply
town
work as Fix the agreement mistake
towns
guide
for Fix the agreement mistake
guides
the
foreigners. Others open restaurants and hotels. As Correct article usage
apply
result
, the government has only one solution to develop and maintain a high level of daily life in rural Correct article usage
a result
place
.
In sum, it is important recently in many countries to not make any difference between life in Fix the agreement mistake
places
city
or rural places
. In fact, it is essential to make rural people
stay in their town
and participate to
the development and the growth of Change preposition
in
theses
Correct your spelling
these
places
.Submitted by rabebhamdi on
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion on it. In this case, the introduction should mention both positive and negative aspects of rural to city migration before concluding that it is overall positive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on providing clearer and more comprehensive ideas in your response. Some points are repeated or unclear in their explanation. Make sure each paragraph introduces a unique idea and develops it fully.
relevant specific examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, mention specific benefits of city life or particular challenges faced in rural areas that might prompt people to move.
complete response
The essay identifies the issue and provides a stance on it, which is essential for addressing the task.
supported main points
The essay includes multiple points that support the main argument about the positive impacts of rural to city migration.
logical structure
There are structured paragraphs, and an introduction, body, and conclusion are present.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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