IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table below shows population figures for 4 countries for 2003 and projected figures for 2025 and 2050.

The table below shows population figures for 4 countries for 2003 and projected figures for 2025 and 2050.
#population #figures #countries
The given table indicates how the
figure
 for
population
 changed from 2003 to 2050 in four different nations, namely,
Argentina
,
Indonesia
, Italy and
Republic
Correct article usage
the Republic
show examples
 of
Korea
.
Overall
, the
figure
 for
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
 in
Argentina
,
Indonesia
 and
Republic
Correct article usage
the Republic
show examples
 of
Korea
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
while
 the number
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in others witness a decrease during the period. In 2003, the
figure
 for
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Indonesia
 was 238
million
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
8 times as high as that
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Argentina
 which
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
recored
Correct your spelling
record
recorded
 at 34
million
.
Moreover
, the data on
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Italy outnumbers that
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Republic
Correct article usage
the Republic
show examples
 of
Korea
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a margin of 6
million
. The
figure
 for
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
 in both
Argentina
 and Italy will decrease to 48
million
 and 47 in that order,
while
 the data on that for
Indonesia
 and
Republic
Correct article usage
the Republic
show examples
 of
Korea
 will increase slightly to 274
million
 and 52
million
 respectively.
In addition
, after 25 years, there is an increase to 62
million
 and 312
million
 in the
figure
 for
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Argentina
 and
Indonesia
,
while
 the data for that in Italy will continually go down to 45
million
.
Submitted by hoangtrungmta94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words figure, population, argentina, indonesia, republic, korea, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: