IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some people say that it would be beneficial for human beings if all types of advertisements were banned since they are not only useless but
also
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 negative to human society. I definitely do not agree with
this
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 opinion because I am convinced that advertising benefits both manufacturers and consumers and
thus
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, they are useful to society. Advertising increases the sales of producers and helps to develop the economy. There is no doubt that advertisements give buyers more details about new products that they have never known before and arouse
customers
Use synonyms
' needs. That leads to buying decisions and helps companies have more orders and more revenue,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
manufacturers will expand their factories, the economy will be developed, and there will be more employment. It is evident that after advertising campaigns, most corporations' revenue increases by 20-30% and they later have to open more factories
as well as
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 hire more workers to meet
customers
Use synonyms
' demands.
Moreover
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, advertising
also
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 benefits
customers
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. It is undeniable that advertisements from new companies about their new products which have a variety of new models, and new functions
as well as
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 better prices supply
customers
Use synonyms
 with more useful information.
This
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 not only helps buyers save more money but
also
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 time to seek the information they need.
For instance
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, people in big cities, where advertising is more popular, often have a chance to buy products with better quality and lower prices. In conclusion, I do not agree with the above statement because I believe that advertising has more positive than negative effects on our society.

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task achievement
Ensure you're addressing all parts of the question to achieve a full complete response. Consider briefly acknowledging the potential negative aspects of advertising to demonstrate a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Clarify the separation between your main points. Consider breaking down larger paragraphs into more distinct points to enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Excellent introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Well-organized structure with logical progression from one idea to the next.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples that effectively support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • unnecessary expenditure
  • critical source
  • informed choices
  • misleading
  • exaggerate
  • survival
  • target audience
  • environmental degradation
  • disposal
  • art and expression
  • social and cultural value
  • commercial intent
  • reasoned conclusion
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