IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say that museum should be free where as others opine that some entry fee should be there. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #museum #opine #entry #fee
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Museum
Add an article
The museum
show examples
 is one of the places where people often go for old
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 our antique things which are used in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
history. We will be
discissing
Correct your spelling
discussing
 both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 of
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
show examples
.
Firstly
,
Add an article
the museum
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museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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 being free will help
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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cant
Correct your spelling
can't
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 afford
and
Correct pronoun usage
it and
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 want to seek
education
Correct article usage
an education
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 it will help them and doing
adversiment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
 of it will give
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 to the people who want to see
different
Add an article
the different
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 cultural
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
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.
For example
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 live in
province
Correct article usage
the province
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Sindh
Change preposition
of Sindh
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 but when
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 visited
Correct article usage
the punjab
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punjab
Change the capitalization
Punjab
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museum
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 learned about their culture from their
museum
 which helped me
in gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
 knowledge.
Secondly
, Free museums allow individuals and families who might not
otherwise
 afford it to access culture and history,
thus
 promoting equality which will
also
 attract tourists.
On the other hand
,
Correct article usage
a museum
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museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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 having
entry
Correct article usage
an entry
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fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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 will
have
Verb problem
make
show examples
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
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 financially stable and can
mantain
Correct your spelling
maintain
 their
museum
 they can pay the salaries of their employee easily.
Furthermore
, Charging an entry fee can give the impression of value and quality, potentially making visitors more likely to appreciate and engage with the exhibits. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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 should be free
from
Change preposition
so
show examples
which
Correct word choice
that
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 everybody can get
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
Tourists
show examples
 will
also
 be attracted
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
this
 gesture.
Submitted by huzaifakaleemteamk on

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task achievement
A clearer understanding of the topic could be shown to improve the clarity of your ideas. Be specific and address all aspects of the task more directly.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your arguments. Try to make sure that each paragraph contains one main idea, and use linking words to show how your ideas are related.
task achievement
You provided relevant specific examples, which help to illustrate your points better.
coherence cohesion
You concluded the essay clearly by restating your opinion, which helps the reader understand your overall stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public engagement
  • financial sustainability
  • socioeconomic backgrounds
  • educational experiences
  • exhibits
  • new acquisitions
  • economic accessibility
  • culture and history
  • equality
  • perceived value
  • tourism
  • downstream economic benefits
  • operational costs
  • staffing
  • security
  • maintenance
  • inclusivity
  • cultural opportunities
  • special exhibits
  • resources
  • crowds
What to do next:
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