Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the enviroment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?
In
this
modern era
human existence is facing many challenges that too are created by man itself, in order to Add a comma
era,
fullfill
the living needs. Cutting down forest Correct your spelling
fulfil
area
is one of them, which has been done to make more space for human colonies all around the world. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
This
ill practice is
Verb problem
has
continuing
Wrong verb form
continued
from
centuries and now it has started showing its implications, Change preposition
for
such
as rise
in Earth's temperature, Correct article usage
a rise
year long
droughts, flash floods and so on. Add a hyphen
year-long
This
essay would
try to propose a few solutions to Wrong verb form
will
this
issue.
To begin
with, primarily with the development of medical science average human age has increased dramatically, it
Correct pronoun usage
which
leads
to Verb problem
has led
rise
in population globally that in return Correct article usage
a rise
require
cities and towns to expand to Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
accomodate
more people, which has Correct your spelling
accommodate
resulted
deforestation to provide land for houses, roads and factories.
About the possible remedies, Add the preposition
resulted in
resulted from
firstly
, a modification in environmental laws is needed that could empower the government's
to stop deforestation. Change noun form
government
Secondly
, people must be educated about the bad effects of cutting down trees and possible
outcomes of Correct article usage
the possible
this
activity by using social and print media.
Adding more to it, campaigns must be launched, which promotes
re-forestation, so that Correct subject-verb agreement
promote
a
ecological balance Change the article
an
could
be restored. Wrong verb form
can
Lastly
, expansion
of cities should be banned, rather Correct article usage
the expansion
government's
and architects must promote Change noun form
governments
culture
of multistorey buildings that ultimately would reduce Add an article
a culture
the culture
need
Add an article
the need
of
new lands for construction purposes.
Change preposition
for
To sum up
, human's
should look for possible Change the noun form
humans
human
wayouts
to deal Correct your spelling
ways
the
outcomes of deforestation by altering their approach to harm mother Change preposition
with the
nature
for Capitalize word
Nature
own
sake, rather they should plant extra trees, change housing designs and Correct pronoun usage
their own
following
laws that Wrong verb form
follow
protects
the green belts.Change the verb form
protect
Submitted by mrsdns on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured and you have included both an introduction and a conclusion. However, it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that specifically outlines the main points you will discuss.
task achievement
Although the main points of your essay are relevant to the prompt, they need further development with more specific examples and supporting details. This will help to make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but there are some areas where the expression could be improved for better clarity. Paying more attention to sentence structure and word choice will help to convey your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Try to link your paragraphs more cohesively to enhance the flow of your essay. Using transitional phrases between paragraphs can help to demonstrate the logical progression of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay and ties them back to the prompt. This helps to reinforce your argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt by discussing the problem of deforestation and proposing several possible solutions.
coherence cohesion
You made an effort to structure your essay logically, which helps the reader to follow your arguments. Each paragraph has a clear focus.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.