Some people think we should do more to prevent crimes, while others believe that we can do little for this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The discourse on criminal prevention has sparked debate among academics and policymakers. Some advocate for proactive measures to curb illicit activities,
while
others assert that
such
efforts may yield limited outcomes.
This
essay will elucidate both perspectives before presenting my viewpoint. On one hand,
skeptics
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sceptics
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argue that eradicating illegal conduct is challenging
due to
psychological impulses and socio-economic pressures.
For instance
, psychological impulses can lead to spontaneous acts.
For example
, crimes of passion,
such
as domestic violence triggered by sudden anger, are difficult to predict and avert.
Additionally
, individuals with mental health issues, like schizophrenia or severe depression, may
also
commit
offenses
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offences
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impulsively.
Furthermore
,
socio-economic
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socioeconomic
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pressures can compel individuals into unlawful
behavior
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behaviour
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. During economic downturns, rising unemployment often correlates with increased theft and burglary as people struggle to meet basic needs. The 2008 financial crisis saw a rise in property
offenses
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offences
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in many countries. These economic triggers demonstrate that urgent needs can drive people to commit transgressions, making it hard to address solely through preventive measures.
On the other hand
, proponents of reducing illegal activities argue that a multifaceted approach can significantly lower
offense
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offence
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rates.
Firstly
, investing in education and social programs can tackle the root causes of unlawful
behavior
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behaviour
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,
such
as poverty and lack of opportunities.
Secondly
, youth engagement and vocational training can offer at-risk individuals alternatives to illegal conduct.
Thirdly
, community policing and an increased law enforcement presence can deter potential offenders. Visible policing reassures the public and complicates criminals’ operations.
Overall
, these initiatives can create a safer society by addressing both symptoms and root causes of criminal activity. In my view,
while
it is unrealistic to expect the complete abolition of illicit conduct, evidence supports proactive strategies for reducing
offenses
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offences
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. Addressing socioeconomic disparities, providing better education, and leveraging modern technology can discourage unlawful
behavior
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behaviour
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.
However
, it is crucial to balance these methods with respect for individual rights and freedoms. Rather than focusing on punitive actions, efforts should be directed towards the rehabilitation and reintegration of offenders into society. In conclusion,
while
there are valid arguments on both sides, I believe that proactive approaches to reduce illegal activities are essential and can yield significant benefits.
Although
we may never achieve a crime-free society, targeted interventions can significantly reduce transgressions and enhance public safety. Ultimately, a balanced strategy combining prevention, enforcement, and rehabilitation is likely the most effective.
Submitted by shaoyuzhu08 on

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a complete response to the prompt. You effectively discuss both views and provide a clear opinion. Continue to ensure that you cover all parts of the question thoroughly, as you've done here.
task achievement
To further improve, focus on integrating more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. This will strengthen your arguments and provide a clearer picture for the reader.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure in your essay. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, making your argument easy to follow. Keep maintaining this level of organization in your writing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a well-defined introduction and conclusion. These sections effectively frame your discussion and provide a clear summary of your viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported, but be mindful to ensure all examples are as specific and relevant as possible. This will help to further illustrate your arguments and make them more compelling.
task achievement
You provide a thorough and balanced discussion of both viewpoints, showcasing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, both of which effectively frame your arguments and provide a satisfying summary.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay is excellent. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, enhancing the reader's understanding.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and well-expressed throughout the essay. You effectively present and support your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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