Some people think we should do more to prevent crimes, while others believe that we can do little for this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crimes

The discourse on criminal prevention has sparked debate among academics and policymakers. Some advocate for proactive measures to curb illicit activities,

while

others assert that

such

efforts may yield limited outcomes.

This

essay will elucidate both perspectives before presenting my viewpoint. On one hand,

skeptics

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sceptics

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argue that eradicating illegal conduct is challenging

due to

psychological impulses and socio-economic pressures.

For instance

, psychological impulses can lead to spontaneous acts.

For example

, crimes of passion,

such

as domestic violence triggered by sudden anger, are difficult to predict and avert.

Additionally

, individuals with mental health issues, like schizophrenia or severe depression, may

also

commit

offenses

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offences

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impulsively.

Furthermore

socio-economic

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socioeconomic

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pressures can compel individuals into unlawful

behavior

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behaviour

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. During economic downturns, rising unemployment often correlates with increased theft and burglary as people struggle to meet basic needs. The 2008 financial crisis saw a rise in property

offenses

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offences

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in many countries. These economic triggers demonstrate that urgent needs can drive people to commit transgressions, making it hard to address solely through preventive measures.

On the other hand

, proponents of reducing illegal activities argue that a multifaceted approach can significantly lower

offense

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offence

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rates.

Firstly

, investing in education and social programs can tackle the root causes of unlawful

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

such

as poverty and lack of opportunities.

Secondly

, youth engagement and vocational training can offer at-risk individuals alternatives to illegal conduct.

Thirdly

, community policing and an increased law enforcement presence can deter potential offenders. Visible policing reassures the public and complicates criminals’ operations.

Overall

, these initiatives can create a safer society by addressing both symptoms and root causes of criminal activity. In my view,

while

it is unrealistic to expect the complete abolition of illicit conduct, evidence supports proactive strategies for reducing

offenses

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offences

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. Addressing socioeconomic disparities, providing better education, and leveraging modern technology can discourage unlawful

behavior

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behaviour

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However

, it is crucial to balance these methods with respect for individual rights and freedoms. Rather than focusing on punitive actions, efforts should be directed towards the rehabilitation and reintegration of offenders into society. In conclusion,

while

there are valid arguments on both sides, I believe that proactive approaches to reduce illegal activities are essential and can yield significant benefits.

Although

we may never achieve a crime-free society, targeted interventions can significantly reduce transgressions and enhance public safety. Ultimately, a balanced strategy combining prevention, enforcement, and rehabilitation is likely the most effective.

Submitted by shaoyuzhu08 on Fri Aug 02 2024

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task achievement

Your essay demonstrates a complete response to the prompt. You effectively discuss both views and provide a clear opinion. Continue to ensure that you cover all parts of the question thoroughly, as you've done here.

task achievement

To further improve, focus on integrating more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. This will strengthen your arguments and provide a clearer picture for the reader.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear and logical structure in your essay. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, making your argument easy to follow. Keep maintaining this level of organization in your writing.

coherence cohesion

Your essay includes a well-defined introduction and conclusion. These sections effectively frame your discussion and provide a clear summary of your viewpoints.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are well-supported, but be mindful to ensure all examples are as specific and relevant as possible. This will help to further illustrate your arguments and make them more compelling.

task achievement

You provide a thorough and balanced discussion of both viewpoints, showcasing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, both of which effectively frame your arguments and provide a satisfying summary.

coherence cohesion

The logical flow of your essay is excellent. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, enhancing the reader's understanding.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear and well-expressed throughout the essay. You effectively present and support your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

389 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think we should do more to prevent crimes, while others believe that we can do little for this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Children who are brought up in a family that does not have a lot of money are better prepared to deal with problems when they become adults than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. Do agree or disagree with the statement.

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.