IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
So many people think that to enjoy hobbies, these ones have to be difficult, personally, I could not disagree more
due to
Linking Words
 the following reasons: I believe that enjoyment comes from relaxation and calm,
in addition
Linking Words
, individuals prefer to do simple tasks in their free time. Usually, there are some whose hobbies tend to be calm and relaxing, they prefer a quieter activity in order to relax after a long day or work week.
This
Linking Words
 is more often the case for the elderly who prefer to enjoy more peaceful moments doing activities
such
Linking Words
 as gardening or cooking.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these types of hobbies contribute to the happiness of many people without having to be difficult, since they are a pastime and help those who relax and think more clearly when they return to work or school.
For example
Linking Words
, a study conducted by the University of Psychology of Buenos Aires suggested that those who have quiet amusements enjoy them more than those who have more exciting and complicated ones.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these amusements do not have to be difficult, in fact, most people in their free time are in favor of doing much easier tasks that do not require so much concentration. That comes as the high pressure they are subjected to during the week and in that way, they seek to disconnect in order to later return and give their best.
Likewise
Linking Words
, some activities that help with it are hiking or sports like fishing or hunting.
For instance
Linking Words
, an important German doctor called Thomas Muller stated in 1995 that when he was in the best mental shape and when he enjoyed himself the most and performed the best at work was when he was having fun with calm things.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I wholeheartedly believe that the world's ways of having fun do not have to be difficult to do, but rather the opposite, it is best to do something smooth and tranquil.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider developing your points further to add depth to your arguments. Each paragraph could benefit from additional details or examples.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical flow. The connection between sentences and paragraphs can be improved for better readability.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to restate your position clearly in the conclusion and summarize the key points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion that is consistent throughout your essay, which is an important strength.
task achievement
Your use of examples adds credibility to your arguments and supports your overall message effectively.
task achievement
Your writing demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and the prompt, which is commendable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unique challenge
  • personal growth
  • mastery
  • accomplishment
  • demanding
  • thrill of achievement
  • pastimes
  • fostering
  • sense of community
  • mindfulness
  • stress relief
  • mental break
  • daily stressors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: