Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
People
wanting Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
to spend Correct your spelling
government
money
on other planets is a useless idea because it will waste lots of money
without any outcome. I will discuss both view
in Change to a plural noun
views
this
essay.
Firstly
, people
who want money
to be spend
on Change the verb form
be spent
planet
Add an article
the planet
is
not a good idea because our Correct subject-verb agreement
are
planet
already have
Change the verb form
has
lot's
of Change the noun form
lots
lot
problem
. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
For example
, poverty is a main problem in
our Change preposition
on
planet
goverment
should give that Correct your spelling
government
money
in
creating industry or Change preposition
to
job
which will help jobless Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
people
. Secondly
, we should invest to improve our enviroment
for Correct your spelling
environment
our
better life Change the word
a
hich
help us in the future.
Correct your spelling
which
On the other hand
, people
who want to do
Verb problem
make
this
investment will get to know about different planet
they will gain knowledge, but it should be done when there is no issue Fix the agreement mistake
planets
in
our Change preposition
on
planet
. We first should improve our technology, Correct word choice
and enviroment
enviroment
and look into matters like poverty before Correct your spelling
environment
doing
Verb problem
making
these huge investment
. Change the determiner
this huge investment
these huge investments
Furthermore
, we should use this
money
to get the resources which are underground or in mountains
. For Correct article usage
the mountains
examole
, there are lots of mountains which have oil or gold Correct your spelling
example
avaible
in the mountain but they can't utilise it because of not having Correct your spelling
available
money
. Correct article usage
The Goverment
Goverment
should help other Correct your spelling
Government
nation
and do Fix the agreement mistake
nations
this
business with them which will improve them economically.
In conclusion, Correct determiner usage
apply
i
think we should invest Change the capitalization
I
these
Change the determiner
this money
money
in good
cause which will benefit us in Add an article
a good
the good
good
economic situation, decrease Correct article usage
a good
in
poverty and help to educate Change preposition
apply
people
by opening free universties
or Correct your spelling
universities
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
who
can't afford it will help them in the future.Correct pronoun usage
that
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views of the topic, but the response could be more developed. Consider adding more detailed arguments and examples to support your points. For instance, explain in more depth how investing in industries or job creation can directly reduce poverty or how environmental improvements can benefit society.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance coherence and cohesion, try to add more linking phrases and sentences to make the transition between points smoother. For example, use phrases such as 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' 'On the contrary,' etc., to connect ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Your main points are relevant but could be better supported with specific examples and detailed reasoning. For example, when mentioning investments in resources like oil or gold, provide more context about how such investments could feasibly benefit the economy.
task achievement
It is good that you recognized the importance of addressing problems on Earth before exploring other planets. This shows your ability to prioritize real-world issues.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure in your essay, with a definitive introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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