Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
Nowadays, there are many people who think that the development of children depends on their
parents
, while
others believe that it depends on school, relationships, and social media. I think that all of these factors influence children, but as for me, I am convinced that our parents
areestablishing
our character and outlook on Correct your spelling
are establishing
reestablishing
life
.
Firstly
, I want to expand on the influence of parents
. They are with their child
from the first seconds of his life
, and even before. They are trying to encompass him in their circle of daily life
. Our basic
Habits
have roots in the habitsof
our Correct your spelling
habits of
parents
, and I'm not talking about good habits
only. Also
bad and unhealthy habits
like eating, activities, and sports. In Russian there is a wonderful phrase, which can explained in the best sharp - we all come from childhood. In my family, we had cooked with a lot of oil, and it took a lot of time for me to change this
unhealthy habit.
On the other hand
, when a child
becomes more independent,
and starts to go out of his family circle - Remove the comma
apply
for instance
- kindergarten, or school, he starts to be influenced by other people with their own
habits
. Thisis
a very important point of a Correct your spelling
This is
child
's life
, and family relationships are the only anchor which helps a childto
stay within himself. Correct your spelling
child to
For instance
, if a child
can see an example of his parent's professional promotion after a period of hard study, he will understand the importanceof
studying, even if his friends are trying to convince him inversely.
In conclusion, I want to say that for me the first years of a Correct your spelling
importance of
child
's lifeare
the most important, and it's the time of family influence.Correct your spelling
life are
Submitted by anastasia on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task, addressing both views on child development. However, to achieve a higher score, make sure to expand on the discussion of external influences (friends, TV, music) to balance your focus on family influence.
coherence cohesion
To improve clarity and comprehension, try to avoid abrupt transitions and ensure your ideas flow smoothly from one sentence or paragraph to the next. Using transition words and phrases can help maintain a smooth flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make sure all paragraphs are fully developed and connected to your main thesis. It's important to support your points with more diversified examples and evidence. Expanding on each influencing factor with specific examples will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which provide a clear framework for your discussion.
task achievement
You have included relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, such as the habit developed from your family's cooking practices. This adds depth to your writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.