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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #taxes #contribution #society #responsibilities #members
There is some view that paying
taxes
 is enough for the residents,
however
, others have the opinion that
people
 have more responsibilities as
part
 of
society
.
While
 paying
taxes
 is one of the most important rules for
society
 , I believe that every human should be more responsible in
country
life
.
Firstly
, in our globalization era, every
resident
 knows about the rules of the
country
. The main rule is the pay
taxes
 to the
government
 to improve and develop the
country
.
Moreover
, paying
taxes
 contributes
society
 to being
part
 of the
government
 and is responsible for the whole
part
 of countries
life
.
For example
, in the USA every
resident
 gives a tax report and pays
taxes
 annually to the
government
.
As a result
,
people
 have good opportunities from the
government
 as good medical insurance and a high quality of education.
On the other hand
,
people
 have more responsibilities than paying
taxes
 and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with
this
 statement. As a
part
 of
society
, every
resident
 should help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society
 as a volunteer and be active in social
life
.
Also
,every
resident
 should vote for the president choosing to be sure of the future of the
country
.
For instance
, many huge companies in the UK have requirements that the employees should volunteer in their social
life
.
As a result
, many parts of social
life
 improving faster than in other countries. In conclusion, some
people
 argue that paying
taxes
 is enough for residents,
while
 others think that there are many responsibilities to
society
. Paying
taxes
 is the civil duty of every citizen,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that every citizen should be active in the social
life
 of the
country
.
Submitted by janmuldayevaa1 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in your essay by using punctuation correctly. For instance, there should be a space after a comma or a full stop.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas by avoiding repetitions and redundant phrases. This will help in conveying your message in a more precise and clear manner.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples which support your main points, such as the example of the USA and the UK.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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