IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

University education should be free to everyone, regardless of income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #education #income
These days, numerous households suffer from a huge tuition fee given by the
university
. Many people think that the
university
 doesn'
t
 provide sufficient services to satisfy their
students
 since it doesn'
t
 reinvest into itself to improve facilities
such
 as a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 centre and dining hall.
Although
 I argue that the
university
 needs to provide superior services,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
I don'
t
 think the
university
 should be free to
whole
Add an article
the whole
show examples
 society.
To begin
, the quality of education could
be deteriorated
Change to the active voice
deteriorate
have deteriorated
show examples
 as professors may get lower wages than
previous
Change preposition
in previous
show examples
 years if the
university
don'
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
t
 earn external income.
For
this
 reason, they may be less motivated to teach
students
 to be better plus decreased demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 becoming teachers.
Therefore
, the importance of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education would be less significant
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the perspective of
students
 and their parents, so they may start to find the workplace rather than being educated by professionals.
In addition
, the
university
 may not sustain
Correct pronoun usage
itself in
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a long period since there is less inflow of income excluding grants provided by the government.
At the first stage
, the
university
 will sack workers out of
univeristy
Correct your spelling
university
due to
 a high cost, leading to increased inefficiency of the system.
This
 would not benefit everyone even though it's free as
students
 may
require
Wrong verb form
be required
show examples
 to start the same year again. In conclusion,
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 would be benefited
initially
 if the
university
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
free education for everyone,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it would backfire as a big junk by an increase in unemployment and a decrease in the price level in the economy.
Submitted by az7082687 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic, but some points are vague or underdeveloped. Make sure to provide more concrete examples to illustrate your arguments.
task achievement
There needs to be a better balance between presenting arguments for and against the topic. Currently, the essay leans heavily towards one side without adequately discussing the potential benefits of free university education.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas more fluidly. Some transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
It is important to use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the essay’s overall flow and engagement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and present a stance on the issue.
task achievement
The main points are relevant to the topic and contribute to the argument being made.
task achievement
There is an attempt to discuss the implications of free university education on various stakeholders.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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