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Band 8

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society
in recent years, the number of older generations has increased significantly.
While
 some individuals believe their presence might cause numerous difficulties for governments, others and I believe elder generations are beneficial for governments and families. On the one hand, the advocates, including me, suggest that elder people have a wealth of knowledge and precious experiences.
Furthermore
, they are the best mentors for
children
. It is noteworthy that
children
 have their support and assistance in dealing with problems that they face in their personal and professional lives.
In addition
, with these expert or knowledgeable people, governments can save money, though they shouldn’t allocate excessive budgets to training the young;
therefore
, those budgets can be spent on other prominent projects. Families are
also
 assisted by their grandparents to reduce the costs of life.
For example
,
children
 spend their time with grandparents;
thus
, parents do not have to pay for
children
’s kindergartens.
On the other hand
, with the ageing population, they are more likely prone to a variety of diseases,
such
 as heart disease, diabetes, dementia and Alzheimer's. In an optimistic view,
this
 issue can create more job opportunities for youngsters.
However
, it can put an excessive burden on governments’ shoulders.
Additionally
, most elders are patient and have a deep understanding of life. They reach
this
 valuable trait throughout their lives.
As a result
, they can direct the societies towards having peace and calm temper in the long run. These days, people spend most of their time at the workplace or commuting in cars or other transportation vehicles, so
children
 should be alone and away from their parents. In
this
 situation, grandparents are
also
 the best friends for grandchildren to upbringing them. In a nutshell,
although
 old individuals impose several detrimental consequences, I wholeheartedly believe the presence of these kind creatures in our lives is of paramount importance which I have elaborated on in
this
 essay.
Submitted by saharaqajani on

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task achievement
Try to balance the discussion of advantages and disadvantages more evenly. While the benefits were well-explained, the disadvantages could be explored further to provide a more balanced analysis.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points, especially regarding how older people can be beneficial to society.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the main argument without digressing into unrelated ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets out the argument and the writer’s position, which is maintained throughout the essay.
logical structure
The essay uses effective transitions to connect ideas within and across paragraphs, contributing to its overall coherence.
supported main points
There are strong, clear points made about the advantages of an ageing population, including their wisdom and support for younger generations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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