Some companies rely 100% on technology for calculations and other such functions. What advantages does technology bring to the workplace? Is there a downside to relying too much on technology?
Several
organizations
fully depend on technology
for calculations and various purposes. Some of the IT advantages for organizations
are increased efficiency, reduced human error and labour costs. Yet, despite many positive impacts, technology
has several disadvantages if a company
relies too much on it. Some of them are cyber security risks, lack of creativity and problem-solving for employees. I will elaborate on this
idea more in this
essay.
The
organization that can operate efficiently is almost the top priority that every management level Correct article usage
An
on
each Change preposition
in
company
, then
technology
comes with the capability to realize that ambition. By using technology
, the company
can process their business activities at an optimum level, which leads the company
to be more profitable. Other than that, with technology
, companies can automate many routine tasks without errors, while
human is impossible to do that. Then
, by automating tasks, the company
can use less labour which leads to saving more money, and then
the company
can generate more profit.
Meanwhile, technology
is not perfect, there are many negatives if relying too much on it. When an organization moves all their daily processes to digital, it means all their
data will be available online. It is very dangerous because many hackers from around the world have the possibility to steal an organization's important data. Correct pronoun usage
its
Then
, due to
the great features that technology
can offer, people tend to be lazier than before. People nowadays find difficult
Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
in thinking
innovatively and Change preposition
to think
solving
problems without Wrong verb form
solve
technology
, they can function well if only they are connected to technology
. It's very bad for organizations
because employees have to work independently, not dependent on technology
.
In summary, even though technology
brings many advantages to organizations
, they need to control their dependence on it. Organizations
should utilize technology
with a more conscious mind and strategic plan, therefore
they can optimize the advantages,
Remove the comma
apply
while
reducing the disadvantages gradually.Submitted by alfianarrizkyp on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or case studies to support your points. This would make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and sentence structures for better clarity. For instance, 'without errors, while human is impossible to do that' can be revised to 'without errors, something that is impossible for humans.'
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a good introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion adequately.
task achievement
The response clearly addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of relying on technology.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.