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Band 4

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention
In today`s modern world, advertising is so common and useful thing for every person.
Thus
 most  
people
 believe that advertising is very important and useful in persuading us to purchase
things
,
while
, other
people
 totally believe that advertising is so common that we no longer pay
attention
 to it.
Although
, I totally believe that advertising is  extremely useful and important to buy
things
. On the one hand, nowadays online shopping is developing day by day and  most  
people
 want to buy
things
 through online markets.
For instance
, more and more
people
 search for
things
 with social networks in their locations.
In addition
, most sellers require advertising with bloggers
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 sell their products and most bloggers advertise useful
things
On the other hand
, most of the
people
 totally believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 advertising is so common that we no longer pay
attention
 to it. Because  it waste of time and
longer
Rephrase
no longer
show examples
 pay
attention
 to it,
also
  unbelievable.
For example
, if most
people
 purchase
things
 by advertising, they may be low-quality
things
.
For instance
, most of the
people
 do not buy
things
 by advertising.
To sum up
, today advertising is most play important role and useful thing in our social life.
Also
, more and more
people
 think that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy
things
. Others think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay
attention
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction presents both views clearly and concisely without repetition. Also, be clear on your stance right from the beginning.
logical structure
Provide smoother transitions between points and within paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
relevant specific examples
Offer more specific and detailed examples to support the main points. This will demonstrate a stronger understanding and engagement with the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Expand on each idea more comprehensively, giving reasons and explanations for your opinions and observations.
complete response
Address both views equally with balanced arguments. This will ensure a fuller response to the task prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay shows a clear engagement with the topic and offers a position on the issue.
logical structure
There is a logical flow to the argument, and main points are generally supported, indicating a reasonable level of organization.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion attempts to synthesize the views discussed, indicating an awareness of essay structure.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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