In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
It is widely believed that many communities are ageing recently which indeed concerns the governments.
However
, elderly people are beloved, they may need special cares that cost a lot of money. Also
, an old population will certainly struggle with many challanges
including a decline in Correct your spelling
challenges
Correct article usage
the econemy
econemy
and Correct your spelling
economy
economic
work force
.
First of all, how Correct your spelling
workforce
older
population is treated can affect Add an article
the older
an older
younger
generations' mindset. Correct article usage
the younger
In other words
, our grandparants
must be respected and treated decently because they have dedicated their lives to their children and country, so it will be unfair to leave them alone when they need us. Correct your spelling
grandparents
For
this
reason, being certain that you will still be loved and your efforts will be appricaited
even when you can not function properly, can motivate youth and encourage them to Correct your spelling
appreciated
work
harder. Although
, taking care of Correct article usage
the eldorly
eldorly
can grow a sense of empathy and commitment in the youth which results in a more responsible generation.
Correct your spelling
elderly
On the other hand
, older society means less work force
. Elders are Correct your spelling
workforce
incompatible
to Correct word choice
unable
work
for long hours and they need special health care. Additionaly
, not only they will not Correct your spelling
Additionally
asisst
the Correct your spelling
assist
countries
Change noun form
country's
econemy
but Correct your spelling
economy
also
, the government has to spend substantial
amount of money to take care of them. Eventually, an old community may result in Add an article
a substantial
economical
Correct word choice
economic
challanges
that Correct your spelling
challenges
has
to be avoided.
In conclusion, Change the verb form
have
eventhough
elders should be loved and cherished in Correct your spelling
even though
the
society, it is Correct article usage
apply
challanging
to have an old community. The detrimental Correct your spelling
challenging
reperucutions
of having an ageing population outweigh the benefits of it so, the governments Correct your spelling
repercussions
has
to implement solutions to Change the verb form
have
avoide
it.Correct your spelling
avoid
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task achievement
To strengthen your argument, include more specific examples and statistics. This will make your points more convincing.
task achievement
Proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors. This will enhance clarity and credibility.
coherence cohesion
Try to make your paragraphs more balanced in length and content. Ensure each paragraph covers one main point thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas. This will improve the flow of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good framework for your discussion.
complete response
You have addressed both advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population, which shows a balanced view of the topic.
supported main points
Your main points are relevant and address the prompt effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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