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Band 5

Your English - speaking friend has asked for you help with a college project he/she is doing about celebrating New Year in different countries - task 1

#english #friend #college #project #year #countries
Dear Karina, I am happy to help you with the questions about celebration a New
Year
. The New
Year
 in our country is so important and a lot of people is so exited to celebrate it. Part of people prepare for
this
 date a few months ago. They prepare where they will be celebrating or what they will be eating, drinking. We have a lot options how celebrate it, I introduce two the most favorite.
For example
, the first option: you can spend a time on the mountains. Where you can ski or stay in the spa. And celebrating the New
Year
 you can enjoy in the hotel, where you can book a ticket for entry and you have celebration without care, because you paid for the eat, drink and fun. The second option: you can stay with friends and family at home. Where you should prepare snack, drinks, fun herself. The favorite part of the day is a fareworks, usually for children. We make a fareworks on the midnight like whole world. Be honest, for me the best option: If I can stay on the mountains. I love downhill skiing, spa,snow. The winter looks different when everything around me is so white. Hopefuly, I helped you and your colleague with the questions about celebration New
Year
. Warm regards Andrea
Submitted by andrea.kroupova on

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coherence cohesion
The letter structure is clear, but there is room for improvement in paragraphing to enhance coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
There are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing which affect the clarity and smoothness of your response.
task achievement
Try to include more specific details and examples to thoroughly cover the diverse ways of celebrating New Year in your country.
task achievement
Ensure the response fully addresses all parts of the task, providing a detailed and comprehensive picture for your friend with precise examples.
coherence cohesion
The letter maintains a friendly and approachable tone, appropriate for writing to a friend.
task achievement
The response covers two distinct ways of celebrating New Year and gives some personal preference, adding a personal touch.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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