Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
students
have Add a missing verb
been burden
burden
Replace the word
burdened
of
studies. Change preposition
with
Therefore
, some people
feel that after school, children
should spend time
with their favourite activities and enjoy their lives. Some humankind think
totally opposite. They think Change the verb form
thinks
students
have to do extra curricular
things apart from their studies. In Correct your spelling
extracurricular
this
matter
I would like to discuss both views and give my opinion in upcoming paragraphs.
Some folk deem that every age Add a comma
matter,
children
take extra responsibilities. The reson
behind Correct your spelling
reason
this
they
feel that if Add a missing verb
is they
students
help their parents
at their home like
giving Change preposition
by
helpinghand
in house chores Correct your spelling
helping hand
helping-hand
as well as
doing learning helping
their Change preposition
by helping
father's
at Change noun form
fathers
work
. By this
, I mean that,
it will help Remove the comma
apply
children
to develop their physical stability and they also
become well in multitasking. Resultantly, children
cognition and physical development will increase. Change noun form
children's
Moreover
, youngsters do not face difficulties in their upcoming life if they will
go away from their comfort zone. Verb problem
apply
For example
, children
in India done
all household activities and Change the form of the verb
do
also
help their parents
in business. Thus
, when they go in
foreign countries they do not feel any Change preposition
to
strugle
to Correct your spelling
struggle
doing
Wrong verb form
do
anykind
of job.
Correct your spelling
any kind
Nonetheless
, some mankind believe that in this
competitive era
Add a comma
era,
students
already have study
burden on their Correct article usage
a study
shoulder
. Tacitly, Fix the agreement mistake
shoulders
students
do study
forb 8-10 hours in a day and they becomes
exhausted. To give immunity to my Change the verb form
become
view point
, after school Correct your spelling
viewpoint
student
do not have Fix the agreement mistake
students
energy
to do other Change the article
the energy
task
and it is Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
parents
duty that they give time
for relaxation to their children
. Furthermore
, Incouragement
of doing their favourite activities should be done by Correct your spelling
Encouragement
parents
. As a consequence
, children
can focus on their study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
otherwise
they became
irritated and depressed by Wrong verb form
become
other workload
. Change the wording
another workload
other workloads
For Instance
, In the US parents
know the balance between study
kife
and Correct your spelling
life
work
life. Ergo, they give time
to their children
to grow properly. People
in this
country against
Add a missing verb
are against
with
child labour Change preposition
apply
work
.
To conclude
, people
have to understand children
and do
not give them Unnecessary verb
apply
burden
of other Add an article
the burden
a burden
work
as it reduce
their physical growth. Change the verb form
reduces
However
, we can not deny that knowledge about household work
and office work
is also
important. So, people
should equally devide
Correct your spelling
divide
time
for youth to play and work
.Submitted by kaverigoti2209 on
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task achievement
While your essay covers both viewpoints, be sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion to enhance clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Ensure your main points are fully developed and supported by specific examples. This can strengthen your arguments and improve your score.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that each point is clearly linked to the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay close attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. This will make your essay easier to read and understand.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is important for addressing the task fully.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear beginning and ending to your essay.