Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In recent
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
students
have Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
been burden
burden
Replace the word
burdened
of
studies. Change preposition
with
Therefore
, some Linking Words
people
feel that after school, Use synonyms
children
should spend Use synonyms
time
with their favourite activities and enjoy their lives. Some humankind Use synonyms
think
totally opposite. They think Change the verb form
thinks
students
have to do Use synonyms
extra curricular
things apart from their studies. In Correct your spelling
extracurricular
this
Linking Words
matter
I would like to discuss both views and give my opinion in upcoming paragraphs.
Some folk deem that every age Add a comma
matter,
children
take extra responsibilities. The Use synonyms
reson
behind Correct your spelling
reason
this
Linking Words
they
feel that if Add a missing verb
is they
students
help their Use synonyms
parents
at their home Use synonyms
like
giving Change preposition
by
helpinghand
in house chores Correct your spelling
helping hand
helping-hand
as well as
doing learning Linking Words
helping
their Change preposition
by helping
father's
at Change noun form
fathers
work
. By Use synonyms
this
, I mean thatLinking Words
,
it will help Remove the comma
apply
children
to develop their physical stability and they Use synonyms
also
become well in multitasking. Resultantly, Linking Words
Use synonyms
children
cognition and physical development will increase. Change noun form
children's
Moreover
, youngsters do not face difficulties in their upcoming life if they Linking Words
will
go away from their comfort zone. Verb problem
apply
For example
, Linking Words
children
in India Use synonyms
done
all household activities and Change the form of the verb
do
also
help their Linking Words
parents
in business. Use synonyms
Thus
, when they go Linking Words
in
foreign countries they do not feel any Change preposition
to
strugle
to Correct your spelling
struggle
doing
Wrong verb form
do
anykind
of job.
Correct your spelling
any kind
Nonetheless
, some mankind believe that in Linking Words
this
competitive Linking Words
era
Add a comma
era,
students
already have Use synonyms
Use synonyms
study
burden on their Correct article usage
a study
shoulder
. Tacitly, Fix the agreement mistake
shoulders
students
do Use synonyms
study
forb 8-10 hours in a day and they Use synonyms
becomes
exhausted. To give immunity to my Change the verb form
become
view point
, after school Correct your spelling
viewpoint
student
do not have Fix the agreement mistake
students
energy
to do other Change the article
the energy
task
and it is Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
parents
duty that they give Use synonyms
time
for relaxation to their Use synonyms
children
. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, Linking Words
Incouragement
of doing their favourite activities should be done by Correct your spelling
Encouragement
parents
. Use synonyms
As a consequence
, Linking Words
children
can focus on their Use synonyms
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
otherwise
they Linking Words
became
irritated and depressed by Wrong verb form
become
other workload
. Change the wording
another workload
other workloads
For Instance
, In the US Linking Words
parents
know the balance between Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
kife
and Correct your spelling
life
work
life. Ergo, they give Use synonyms
time
to their Use synonyms
children
to grow properly. Use synonyms
People
in Use synonyms
this
country Linking Words
against
Add a missing verb
are against
with
child labour Change preposition
apply
work
.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, Linking Words
people
have to understand Use synonyms
children
and Use synonyms
do
not give them Unnecessary verb
apply
burden
of other Add an article
the burden
a burden
work
as it Use synonyms
reduce
their physical growth. Change the verb form
reduces
However
, we can not deny that knowledge about household Linking Words
work
and office Use synonyms
work
is Use synonyms
also
important. So, Linking Words
people
should equally Use synonyms
devide
Correct your spelling
divide
time
for youth to play and Use synonyms
work
.Use synonyms
Submitted by kaverigoti2209 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While your essay covers both viewpoints, be sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion to enhance clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Ensure your main points are fully developed and supported by specific examples. This can strengthen your arguments and improve your score.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that each point is clearly linked to the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay close attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. This will make your essay easier to read and understand.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is important for addressing the task fully.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear beginning and ending to your essay.