Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
students
have
Add a missing verb
been burden
show examples
burden
Replace the word
burdened
show examples
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
studies.
Therefore
, some
people
feel that after school,
children
should spend
time
with their favourite activities and enjoy their lives. Some humankind
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
totally opposite. They think
students
have to do
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
show examples
things apart from their studies. In
this
matter
Add a comma
matter,
show examples
I would like to discuss both views and give my opinion in upcoming paragraphs. Some folk deem that every age
children
take extra responsibilities. The
reson
Correct your spelling
reason
behind
this
they
Add a missing verb
is they
show examples
feel that if
students
help their
parents
at their home
like
Change preposition
by
show examples
giving
helpinghand
Correct your spelling
helping hand
helping-hand
in house chores
as well as
doing learning
helping
Change preposition
by helping
show examples
their
father's
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fathers
show examples
at
work
. By
this
, I mean that
,
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apply
show examples
it will help
children
to develop their physical stability and they
also
become well in multitasking. Resultantly,
children
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children's
show examples
cognition and physical development will increase.
Moreover
, youngsters do not face difficulties in their upcoming life if they
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
go away from their comfort zone.
For example
,
children
in India
done
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do
show examples
all household activities and
also
help their
parents
in business.
Thus
, when they go
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
foreign countries they do not feel any
strugle
Correct your spelling
struggle
to
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
anykind
Correct your spelling
any kind
of job.
Nonetheless
, some mankind believe that in
this
competitive
era
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era,
show examples
students
already have
study
Correct article usage
a study
show examples
burden on their
shoulder
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shoulders
show examples
. Tacitly,
students
do
study
forb 8-10 hours in a day and they
becomes
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become
show examples
exhausted. To give immunity to my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
, after school
student
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students
show examples
do not have
energy
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the energy
show examples
to do other
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
and it is
parents
duty that they give
time
for relaxation to their
children
.
Furthermore
,
Incouragement
Correct your spelling
Encouragement
of doing their favourite activities should be done by
parents
.
As a consequence
,
children
can focus on their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
otherwise
they
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
irritated and depressed by
other workload
Change the wording
another workload
other workloads
show examples
.
For Instance
, In the US
parents
know the balance between
study
kife
Correct your spelling
life
show examples
and
work
life. Ergo, they give
time
to their
children
to grow properly.
People
in
this
country
against
Add a missing verb
are against
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
child labour
work
.
To conclude
,
people
have to understand
children
and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not give them
burden
Add an article
the burden
a burden
show examples
of other
work
as it
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
their physical growth.
However
, we can not deny that knowledge about household
work
and office
work
is
also
important. So,
people
should equally
devide
Correct your spelling
divide
time
for youth to play and
work
.
Submitted by kaverigoti2209 on

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task achievement
While your essay covers both viewpoints, be sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion to enhance clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Ensure your main points are fully developed and supported by specific examples. This can strengthen your arguments and improve your score.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that each point is clearly linked to the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay close attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. This will make your essay easier to read and understand.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is important for addressing the task fully.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear beginning and ending to your essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
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