Write a complete essay to answer the following question and finish your writing at the end of the class. In some developing countries, disabled people are not given proper access to public and private facilities. What are some possible effects of this problem and solutions to it?
Inclusive individuals
are
lack Unnecessary verb
apply
of
complete permission to amenities that other citizens have in some countries. Change preposition
apply
This
essay will discuss causes and solutions such
as decrease
in quality of life of incentives and encouraging Add an article
a decrease
the decrease
government
to build facilities for disabled people.
Debilitated individuals do not have access to some entertainment places Correct article usage
the government
such
as variety
number of clubs, pools, and sports. Which might lead to Correct article usage
a variety
offend
them and Change the verb form
offending
consequently
reducing
their quality of life. By Wrong verb form
reduce
this
, not only for disabled people can
offend them but Verb problem
apply
also
, it
would be problems with employment opportunities. It is Correct pronoun usage
there
also
vital to consider because it can be the cause of financial struggles of incentives.
However
, there are some possible solutions, one of them is provide
more mechanisms to carry them in buildings. Fix the infinitive
to provide
In other words
, government should invest in infrastructure in order to increase access to public amenities. Also
to reach such
kind
of buildings it is important to do convenient public transportation. Not only government Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
should
some restrictions and solve Verb problem
have
this
, but also
it is crucial to start create
community support programs and services for disabled people. Other residents have to support them and create Wrong verb form
creating
friendly
environment among individuals by reducing stigma.
Add an article
a friendly
To conclude
, there are causes of
underestimating the importance of helping incentives Change preposition
for
such
as,
reducing Remove the comma
apply
of
their quality of life and Change preposition
apply
also
some possible solutions like investments in infrastructure and do
convenience mobility.Unnecessary verb
apply
Submitted by zerdeteacher2024 on
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task response
Your introduction lays out the issue and mentions the causes and solutions, but it could be more specific. Clearly define the scope by stating more specific factors contributing to the problem and elaborate on them.
task response
In your body paragraphs, use well-defined topic sentences and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea. Develop your points with more specific details and examples. For instance, mention real-world examples or statistical data, if any.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow by using linking words and phrases. Transitions can help guide the reader through your argument more effectively. For example, use 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'In addition,' 'Moreover,' and 'Therefore' to link ideas smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
You have mentioned several solutions, but they can be expanded further. Try to outline how these solutions directly address the problems you raised. E.g., how exactly infrastructure investments will change disabled people's lives, or how community support programs can help integrate them better.
conclusion advice
The conclusion restates the main points but can be stronger. Summarize how the proposed solutions can bring tangible changes and reaffirm the significance of addressing the issue comprehensively.
task response
Your essay acknowledges multiple dimensions of the problem, such as quality of life and employment opportunities, which shows a good understanding of the issue.
task response
You have proposed practical solutions, such as improving infrastructure and community support programs, which are relevant and realistic.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, helps in maintaining a basic level of coherence and readability.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?