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Band 6.5

In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #schools #student #behaviour
Nowadays, most
schools
 have problems dealing with naughty students. They often face a lot of challenges in disciplining them. Despite the hardships, they can not give up on their own student.
Therefore
, in
this
 essay, I will discuss some factors that cause the problem, and present some solutions to solve it. All these years,
schools
 have been trying to understand the reason behind children's behaviour.
Although
 people believe that it is normal to misbehave as they are children, researchers show that
parents
 play an important role in shaping their characters.
For example
, those who do not get enough attention from their
parents
 will likely have a bad attitude. They will become an attention seeker in
Correct article usage
the school's
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school's
Change noun form
school
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 environment by annoying their teachers and friends. Researchers believe that these types of children will become a bully.
Nevertheless
,
schools
 all around the world are trying their best to manage and discipline misbehaving students. Yet, the effort does not function well because of no cooperation with families.
For instance
, when the teacher gives
a
Remove the article
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detention to a student who bullies their friends, the bully's parent will complain to the school and present some reasons to make it look like it is the teacher's fault. Even worse, in some cases, people might even sue the school just because they give detention to their child. These kinds of
parents
' behaviour make it difficult for
schools
 to teach them an ethical and moral lesson. Ultimately, I believe that
schools
 should be firmer toward the
parents
 and have boundaries with them. They need to have a ground rule for
parents
 in communicating with them
,
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 so that they can not interfere.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, identifying both causes and solutions for student misbehavior. To enhance, ensure all main points are consistently aligned with task requirements.
task achievement
Some ideas could be expanded with further clarification. Ensure all points are explained clearly and fully.
task achievement
Include more varied specific examples to better illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, but some connections between ideas could be strengthened for seamless flow.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is well organized; however, utilize linking words more effectively to connect sentences and ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the problem and the purpose of the essay, setting a good tone for what follows.
relevant specific examples
The use of examples, like the influence of parental behavior, effectively illustrate the causes of student misbehavior.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers a clear final statement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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