In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #schools #student #behaviour

Nowadays,

student

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

has become one of the

problems

that

Change the verb form

are

show examples

starting to bloom in schools. In

this

essay, I will discuss what has

caused

Add a missing verb

been caused

show examples

and

steps

Correct article usage

the steps

show examples

we must take to prevent

this

problem from happening in the near future. One of the primary causes for

student

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

is stress which can occur from their families, schools even their friends. In the modern world, there are a lot of improvements needed

due

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

to fasten or get everything done effectively. If we do not achieve it, stress feeling will be embarking real soon. The same things can be found in school life, stress

haunted

Wrong verb form

haunts

show examples

children, especially those who are less talented compared to others.

Last

but not least, wrong teaching methods can lead to

student

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

problems

too because

this

error will be imitated by our children which can lead them to do the wrong thing. There are a

couple

Add the preposition

couple of

show examples

solutions that we can do to minimize students’

behavior

problems

, but I will discuss only two of them.

Firstly

, we must prepare

refreshing

Correct article usage

a refreshing

show examples

time for children because

during

Add the comma(s)

, during

show examples

this

time, they can do their hobbies or explore their potential more freely.

Besides

that, their mind can be calmer causing them to be more relaxed and reduce tensions in their mind.

Secondly

, we must observe our children’s

behaviors

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behaviours

show examples

, we must teach them how to behave so they will not deviate in the upcoming years. In conclusion,

student

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

problems

came

Wrong verb form

come

show examples

from stresses that come from their circle and wrong teaching methods,

due

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apply

show examples

to reduce these causes

happen

Verb problem

apply

show examples

we must prepare

refreshing

Change preposition

for refreshing

show examples

time and provide a good teaching method.

Submitted by riani.the2 on Sat Aug 03 2024

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task achievement

Your essay is generally understandable, but try to ensure your points are fully developed. Sometimes, the points you raise, such as the impact of stress or wrong teaching methods, could benefit from more detailed explanations or examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay transitions well between ideas, but there are moments where the logical flow could be improved. Try to connect your ideas more seamlessly for a more coherent argument.

task achievement

The introduction clearly states that you will discuss the causes and solutions to student behavior problems. This provides a good roadmap for your essay.

coherence cohesion

You successfully include a conclusion that summarizes the causes and solutions discussed in your essay. This helps to round off your argument well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Increasıng the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Some people think that the government should offer financial support and care to old people, while others think people should save money for their future life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some countries have introduced a law to eliminate working hours for employees. Why is this law introduced. Do you think it is a negative or positive development.