Some people think that global environment problems shold be dralt with internationally. Others, however, believe that they have to be tackled domestically. What is your opinion?
Several
people
believe that global environment
issues must be Replace the word
environmental
handle
by international cooperation, Wrong verb form
handled
however
, the rest think that the problems
can be deal
Wrong verb form
dealt
by
local Change preposition
with by
government
. In my opinion, a balance
Replace the word
balanced
approch
is the best way to solve Correct your spelling
approach
this
problem
.
International collaboration provide
many benefits to fix environmental issues Change the verb form
provides
such
as climate change and pollution. The primary cause is human activities which can lead harmful
effects Change preposition
to harmful
for
Change preposition
on
Add an article
the earth
earth
. Capitalize word
Earth
For instance
, they too much using
air Add a hyphen
much-using
condition
and private Wrong verb form
conditioning
vehicle
which Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
using
Wrong verb form
use
fossils fuel
. It makes the gasses Fix the agreement mistake
fossil fuels
trap
in the Change the form of the verb
trapped
ozon
layer, Correct your spelling
ozone
moreover
, it will rise
the temperature and Correct your spelling
raise
melted
ice in Wrong verb form
melt
Correct article usage
the greenland
greenland
. The countries can cooperate to make policies that amplify results. Change the capitalization
Greenland
Additionally
, they can meet each other to exchange knowledge and shared resources. People
can learn about something new which
not only from one reference but Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
by
all of the Change preposition
from
teacher
.
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
On the other hand
, domestic have Correct article usage
the responsibilities
responsibilities
to find out the environmental Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
problems
since they already know about the main environment
Replace the word
environmental
problem
. They will easily Fix the agreement mistake
problems
to
do research in their own territories. After that, discussion Fix the infinitive
apply
problems
to get the Change preposition
of problems
crusial
solutions to Correct your spelling
crucial
spesific
regional challenges, Correct your spelling
specific
the
role of local challenges. Correct word choice
and the
Furthermore
, it can be
lead to more immediate and visible changes. Unnecessary verb
apply
For example
, Jakarta, one of the biggest city
in Fix the agreement mistake
cities
indonesia
, become the highest pollution in the world. The fog Change the capitalization
Indonesia
affect
health Change the verb form
affects
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
such
as asthma. Jakarta
Change noun form
Jakarta's
government
already apply
Wrong verb form
applied
the
new policy which can Correct article usage
a
press
the number of pollution.
I believe Verb problem
reduce
thet
the best way to face environmental Correct your spelling
that
problems
by
Add a missing verb
is by
mix
the international view and local Change the verb form
mixing
government
action. People
who live in Correct article usage
the regional
regional
can search Replace the word
region
Change preposition
for environment
environment
issues, Replace the word
environmental
then
the domestic government
will be
apply the policies. It will bring a perfect combo between them.
In conclusion, international collaboration Unnecessary verb
apply
give
Change the verb form
gives
the
new insight for Correct article usage
apply
people
to solve the problem
immediately. Hoever
, Correct your spelling
However
the
local cooperation can apply Correct article usage
apply
knowledge
that already they got from international conferences.Add an article
the knowledge
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coherence cohesion
Work on structural clarity – ensure each paragraph flows logically and each idea is clearly tied back to the main argument.
coherence cohesion
Address some grammatical and lexical errors to improve clarity and readability. For instance, correct phrases like 'several people believe that global environment issues must be handle by international cooperation' to 'Several people believe that global environmental issues must be handled through international cooperation.’
task achievement
Expand on and provide specific evidence for each main point to give a more comprehensive response. For instance, provide a specific example of international collaboration resulting in positive environmental change.
task achievement
Ensure each idea is explained clearly and comprehensively – this sometimes requires splitting sentences or breaking down complex thoughts.
task achievement
You present a balanced view, advocating for a combination of international and domestic approaches, which demonstrates a good level of critical thinking.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame your arguments effectively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example