Some people think that global environment problems shold be dralt with internationally. Others, however, believe that they have to be tackled domestically. What is your opinion?

#people #environment #shold #dralt

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Several

people

Use synonyms

believe that global

environment

Replace the word

environmental

show examples

issues must be

handle

Wrong verb form

handled

show examples

by international cooperation,

however

Linking Words

, the rest think that the

problems

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can be

deal

Wrong verb form

dealt

show examples

Change preposition

with by

show examples

local

government

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. In my opinion, a

balance

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balanced

show examples

approch

Correct your spelling

approach

is the best way to solve

this

Linking Words

problem

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. International collaboration

provide

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provides

show examples

many benefits to fix environmental issues

such

Linking Words

as climate change and pollution. The primary cause is human activities which can lead

harmful

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to harmful

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effects

for

Change preposition

show examples

Add an article

the earth

show examples

earth

Capitalize word

Earth

show examples

For instance

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, they too

much using

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much-using

show examples

air

condition

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conditioning

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and private

vehicle

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vehicles

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which

using

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use

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fossils fuel

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fossil fuels

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. It makes the gasses

trap

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trapped

show examples

in the

ozon

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ozone

layer,

moreover

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, it will

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

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the temperature and

melted

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melt

show examples

ice in

Correct article usage

the greenland

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greenland

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Greenland

show examples

. The countries can cooperate to make policies that amplify results.

Additionally

Linking Words

, they can meet each other to exchange knowledge and shared resources.

People

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can learn about something new

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

not only from one reference but

also

Linking Words

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from

show examples

all of the

teacher

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teachers

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On the other hand

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, domestic have

Correct article usage

the responsibilities

show examples

responsibilities

Fix the agreement mistake

responsibility

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to find out the environmental

problems

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since they already know about the main

environment

Replace the word

environmental

show examples

Use synonyms

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

. They will easily

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apply

show examples

do research in their own territories. After that, discussion

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problems

Change preposition

of problems

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to get the

crusial

Correct your spelling

crucial

solutions to

spesific

Correct your spelling

specific

regional challenges,

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

role of local challenges.

Furthermore

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, it can

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lead to more immediate and visible changes.

For example

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, Jakarta, one of the biggest

city

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cities

show examples

indonesia

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Indonesia

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, become the highest pollution in the world. The fog

affect

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affects

show examples

health

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problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

such

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as asthma.

Jakarta

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Jakarta's

show examples

government

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already

apply

Wrong verb form

applied

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

new policy which can

press

Verb problem

reduce

show examples

the number of pollution. I believe

thet

Correct your spelling

that

the best way to face environmental

problems

Use synonyms

Add a missing verb

is by

show examples

mix

Change the verb form

mixing

show examples

the international view and local

government

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action.

People

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who live in

Correct article usage

the regional

show examples

regional

Replace the word

region

show examples

can search

Change preposition

for environment

show examples

environment

Replace the word

environmental

show examples

issues,

then

Linking Words

the domestic

government

Use synonyms

will

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

apply the policies. It will bring a perfect combo between them. In conclusion, international collaboration

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new insight for

people

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to solve the

problem

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immediately.

Hoever

Correct your spelling

However

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

local cooperation can apply

knowledge

Add an article

the knowledge

show examples

that already they got from international conferences.

Submitted by firmansyahafandy99 on Sat Aug 03 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on structural clarity – ensure each paragraph flows logically and each idea is clearly tied back to the main argument.

coherence cohesion

Address some grammatical and lexical errors to improve clarity and readability. For instance, correct phrases like 'several people believe that global environment issues must be handle by international cooperation' to 'Several people believe that global environmental issues must be handled through international cooperation.’

task achievement

Expand on and provide specific evidence for each main point to give a more comprehensive response. For instance, provide a specific example of international collaboration resulting in positive environmental change.

task achievement

Ensure each idea is explained clearly and comprehensively – this sometimes requires splitting sentences or breaking down complex thoughts.

task achievement

You present a balanced view, advocating for a combination of international and domestic approaches, which demonstrates a good level of critical thinking.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame your arguments effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
56
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

318 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

international collaboration
global cooperation
climate change
deforestation
water scarcity
pollution
shared resources
knowledge exchange
unified policies
local governments
communities
regional challenges
local regulations
tailoring solutions
immediate change
visible change
balance of approaches
domestic policies
frameworks
local adaptation
success stories
global actions

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Some people think that global environment problems shold be dralt with internationally. Others, however, believe that they have to be tackled domestically. What is your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Problem solution Some people find it difficult to manage their money. How could the government help prevent debt problems and support such people?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subject. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

Some people are of the view that only university education can ensure success, whereas many others oppose this view. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some believe that students should begin learning a language very early in school while others think these subjects should be taught later. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people say that it is not possible to be happy without money, while others think that money does not guarantee happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experienc