Some people think that developing a successful career is more important than spending time with family and friends, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Few individuals are under

opinion

Add an article

the opinion

show examples

that academic and professional growth

Correct your spelling

show examples

needed over passing

time

Use synonyms

with family and companions.

however

Linking Words

, few

people

Use synonyms

are against

such

Linking Words

beliefs.

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss on importance of career development and its benefits and on how

people

Use synonyms

get artificial if they don’t spend reasonable

time

Use synonyms

with

people

Use synonyms

around them. On the one hand, individuals believe that investing

time

Use synonyms

and affords

Change preposition

show examples

career growth will give great success and fame in society. If individuals have good performance in their field. they shall soon achieve good managerial

position

Fix the agreement mistake

positions

show examples

in their organization which

results

Add the preposition

results in

results from

show examples

good salary rise. by which,

this

Linking Words

individual can choose

preferred

Add an article

the preferred

a preferred

show examples

living style

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

buy a desired house and

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

solely

Change the word

sole

show examples

desires.

for instance

Linking Words

, many top billionaire industrialists

such

Linking Words

bill gates

Correct your spelling

Bill Gates

show examples

Elon

Correct word choice

and Elon

show examples

musk

Capitalize word

Musk

show examples

have sacrificed their family

time

Use synonyms

and had no friends. have achieved greater heights and have

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that they always desired

off

Change preposition

apply

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, humans believe that

people

Use synonyms

become mechanical like robots if they

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

spend enough

time

Use synonyms

with family and friends. we need

human

Correct article usage

a human

show examples

touch when we are depressed and encouragement to overcome difficulties. ignoring family life and focusing completely on professional growth will cause separation and loneliness.

for instance

Linking Words

, many young couples these days are separated because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

their partners don’t give

enough

Correct pronoun usage

them enough

show examples

time

Use synonyms

for

families

Fix the agreement mistake

family

show examples

by being busy

Change preposition

with

show examples

the

Change the word

their

show examples

jobs.

this

Linking Words

scenario can be avoided by having

balanced

Correct article usage

a balanced

show examples

life between professional and personal

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

. In conclusion, professional development is important to live a better life with high standards but not at the cost of sacrificing family

time

Use synonyms

jesujwalSat Aug 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar

Make sure to proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and awkward phrases. For example, 'under opinion' should be 'of the opinion,' and 'however' should start with a capital letter. Also, avoid sentence fragments like 'have achieved greater heights and have best like that they always desired off.'

Examples

You should provide more specific examples to support your points. General statements such as 'individuals can choose preferred living style' lack concrete examples that would make your argument stronger.

Cohesion

Ensure your essay flows better by using appropriate linking words. Phrases like 'for instance' are useful, but sometimes your transitions feel abrupt. Improve cohesion by using a variety of linking words.

Task Achievement

You have addressed both views of the topic clearly and provided a balanced opinion in the conclusion.

Coherence

Your essay contains a coherent structure with paragraphs dedicated to each side of the argument.

Content

You have acknowledged the importance of a balanced life, which is a commendable and relevant point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In many countries traditional customs are being lost. Why do you think this is? What can parents and schools do to keep traditional customs alive?
It is true that native customs will lost because the new generation prefer to wear new fashion styles ,and the number of people who wear new dress are increasing. While some groups of people believe that this action may be negative for us , parents and schools should support this problem. And it has many reasons why people do not like old styles of dress. This essay will discuss this situation.
6
band
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
In the technology age, with the development of driverless transports that means all people inside do not need to drive these anymore. Although there are some negative effects , I strongly believe that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
6.5
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
In many nations, people prefer to purchase abodes instead of paying lease fees to the landlord. This way of preference has numerous potential reasons. Personally, I am convinced that this can bring about so many merits.
7.5
band
Cultural traditions are important in many societies. To what extent do you think maintaining cultural traditions is important in a globalized world? What other measures can be taken to preserve cultural heritage?
Cultures and traditions are the most integral part of our society. As globalisation has removed the border restriction our cultural values have dimnished already because of it. It is extremly crucial to maintain some values and rituals based of our traditions to pass on the legacy to the upcoming generation. And multiple steps could be taken to preserve that heritage. This essay will explore some reason and methods to conserve the traditional values.
6
band
You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own.Write a letter to the manager of nearest private sports club.In your letter: Introduce yourself. Say why you are interested in this sports club. Ask some questions about the club e.g.facilities,members,costs.
I hope this letter finds you well. Allow me to introduce myself: my name is Arthur, and I have recently joined your sports club with a keen interest in playing basketball.

Some people think that developing a successful career is more important than spending time with family and friends, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

In many countries traditional customs are being lost. Why do you think this is? What can parents and schools do to keep traditional customs alive?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Cultural traditions are important in many societies. To what extent do you think maintaining cultural traditions is important in a globalized world? What other measures can be taken to preserve cultural heritage?

You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own.Write a letter to the manager of nearest private sports club.In your letter: Introduce yourself. Say why you are interested in this sports club. Ask some questions about the club e.g.facilities,members,costs.