The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?
Overpopulation
is one of the global problems
of our epoch. Although
humanity
has more significant problems
except
the rise Change preposition
than
of
population. In Change preposition
in
this
essay, I partially agree with the idea about the negative effects of the
Correct article usage
apply
overpopulation
, so it is not the biggest problem
of humanity
.
I agree that overpopulation
is the biggest problem
of our world in the present. Because
Correct word choice
This
this
occurrence leads to more and more negative consequences, like the depletion of natural resources, such
as deforestation, fossil fuels, and any type of mining. Industrial countries, like the United States, suffer
from fossil fuels for decades, which has a worse influence on the health of Americans. Wrong verb form
have suffered
Besides
, overpopulation
also
leads to low demand on
the labour market. So wealthy nations with the highest population have a lot of unemployed people who have a diploma yet cannot find jobs because of Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
overpopulation
.
On the other hand
, overpopulation
is not the only problem
that humanity
faces nowadays. We have enormous amounts of another
Fix the agreement mistake
other problems
problem
, which is
really disturbing the lives of the people of the world day by day. I think ecological Correct subject-verb agreement
are
problems
are more important trouble than overpopulation
. Because it does not matter how many people live on Earth if humanity
has ecological problems
, like air pollution or global warming. In addition
, these issues are really significant troubles that have a huge influence on humans' health, lifestyle, and longevity.
To conclude
, I think that overpopulation
is an important problem
that needs a solution, yet we do not forget about other problems
and do not belittle their importance, so they have the greatest effect on our lives.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, refine your argumentation. Make sure that each point you raise is well-supported with specific examples and evidence. For instance, you mention depletion of natural resources and labor market issues but could benefit from more detailed examples or statistics.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a more sophisticated use of linking words and phrases to ensure smoother transitions between points. For example, phrases like 'Additionally' or 'Moreover' could effectively lead into new points.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively and presents a balanced view, discussing both sides of the argument. This shows a clear understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
You provide a clear structure to your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.