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Writing Samples
Band 5

The main purpose of public libraries should be to provide books. Public libraries should not spend their limited resources on computer software, videos, or DVDs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#purpose #libraries #books #resources #computer #software #videos #dvds
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The function of public
libraries
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 is a controversial topic; some support the notion that they should allocate all of their limited funding
on
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to
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books
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, whilst others argue that
libraries
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 should
also
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 facilitate access to DVDs,
videos
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 and
software
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 for the public.
Although
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 it is true that dedicating a larger portion of their budget to
books
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 will allow
libraries
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 to have more comprehensive collections, it must be stated that
,
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 in today's modern world,
software
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 and
videos
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 are
also
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 valuable resources that individuals should be able to access in
libraries
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. On the one hand,
it is clear that
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 most
libraries
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 struggle with insufficient funding. Because of
this
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, many risk being overwhelmed by the addition of new resource types, like
videos
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, that not only require additional storage
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 need new systems to be developed when renting them out.
In contrast
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, simply purchasing new
books
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with
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within
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 their budget will cause minimal intrusion
to
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into
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 their current systems, making maintenance easier.
For example
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, many
libraries
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 lack the room to add video displays and DVD racks,
whereas
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 new
books
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 can be seamlessly added to the same bookshelves that are already placed inside. Despite
this
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, it is an undeniable reality that a large portion of resources today are produced in video or
software
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 format
,
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apply
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 and must be available to the public within
libraries
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. As mentioned above, because
libraries
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 serve to facilitate public learning, they must
also
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 have stocks of video, DVDs, and
software
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 alongside
books
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.
This
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 is because,
while
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books
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 may have been the only resource for
earnin
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earning
learning
gin
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in
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 the past, in today's world, much knowledge is delivered in other formats.
Thus
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, not being able to provide
this
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 will result in
libraries
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 providing insufficient services.
For instance
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, the National Library of Turkey
,
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apply
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 has an astonishing number of
videos
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,
software
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, and many more formats available to the public, and many sing praises for it because of the options to consume these as well.
To sum up
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, the allocation of
libraries
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' budgets is undoubtedly an important topic of debate. And,
although
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 some may see more benefit in giving the most resources to
books
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, failing to include other formats is likely to hinder their ability to provide learning.
Submitted by denisbeytekin on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task question effectively, but there are areas for improvement. Consider strengthening your arguments with more specific examples and further details to support your points. Currently, the examples provided are somewhat general.
cohesion coherence
There are some run-on sentences and minor grammatical errors that slightly detract from the clarity of your writing. Proofreading for these small errors and refining sentence structures would improve readability and coherence.
cohesion coherence
Try to integrate more sophisticated transitions and cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your essay. This will also make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments and the connections between them.
cohesion coherence
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, summarizing all the key points effectively.
cohesion coherence
You have a logical structure overall, with a clear progression from the introduction to the body and conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly expressed and directly address the task question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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