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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to travel by car while others prefer to take the bicycle. Which of these do you prefer? What are the advantages and disadvantages of traveling by a car ?

#people #travel #car #bicycle #do
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Nowadays, there are several transportation ways to get your point. But the pros and cons of all of them are different
according to
perspectives
Correct article usage
the perspectives
show examples
 to use them. I agree that
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 by vehicle is more convenient for me for many reasons. In
this
 essay, I will explain my view on movement by car and spotlight on using a bicycle. On the one hand,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 by car has a lot of procs
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
important factors.
Firstly
, for long trips use a vehicle don’t waste
time
in other words
 you do not need to consume
time
 to reach your target.
Also
 has space to take the luggage.
in addition
 to sitting on a seat for long trips looks tiring so it ensures comfortability.
For instance
, I would rather travel by car to
can
Verb problem
apply
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arrive
to
Change preposition
at
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 my place without consuming
time
.
However
, for short trips, I prefer to use the bicycle for many reasons, helps me to do some exercise
while
 I am doing my task.
Furthermore
, helps the environment from air pollution and dioxide gas carbon.
On the other hand
,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 by vehicle is costly and prevents the user from having a healthy body because prevents him from movement a long
time
 and makes him lazy.
Moreover
, the accident risk. The statistics every year show that more than 2 % of people lose their lives because of accidents.
That is
 a huge number compared with using a bicycle.
To sum up
, the measures of choosing the transporter way different individuals, As I explained in
this
 essay above the advantages and disadvantages of using them and my view.
Submitted by ahmedom3991 on

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vocabulary
Try to use more varied vocabulary and expressions. This will help to avoid repetition and make your writing sound more sophisticated.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that there is a logical progression between paragraphs. Transitional words and phrases can help to improve the flow.
grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay to catch any grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Polishing these small details can greatly improve readability.
content
You've provided both sides of the argument which is important for balanced writing.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frames your argument well.
examples
You included several relevant examples to support your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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