Some people think person happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Some individuals assert that personal
happiness
is directly correlated with economic success
, while
others maintain that various other elements contribute to well-being. I would contend that although
financial prosperity can significantly influence happiness
, other factors
are equally crucial in determining an individual's overall
life
satisfaction.
There are several reasons why people believe that economic success
leads to happiness
. This
implies that financial stability can furnish individuals with a sense
of security and freedom. For instance
, a stable income enables people to afford essential needs, indulge in leisure activities, and pursue their passions without the constant stress of monetary concerns. Moreover
, economic success
often results in social recognition and elevated status, which can further
enhance a person's self-esteem and life
satisfaction.
Despite the aforementioned arguments, it is vital to consider other determinants of happiness
. In other words
, aspects such
as robust interpersonal relationships, good health, and a sense
of purpose play a pivotal role in an individual's happiness
. For example
, having a supportive family and close friends can provide emotional sustenance during challenging times, which wealth alone cannot offer. Additionally
, engaging in meaningful activities and having clear goals can give individuals a sense
of fulfillment
and contentment, independent of their financial situation. These Change the spelling
fulfilment
factors
can significantly improve one's quality of life
and overall
happiness
, irrespective of economic success
.
In conclusion, while
some people believe that happiness
is directly tied to economic success
, others argue that various other factors
are essential for a fulfilling life
. I would argue that financial prosperity is indeed a significant contributor to happiness
, but it is not the sole determinant. Factors
such
as interpersonal relationships, health, and a sense
of purpose are equally important in achieving genuine happiness
.Submitted by eparfenenkov on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While you have provided relevant arguments and examples, try to further elaborate on the supporting points in each paragraph. Adding more depth can enrich your essay.
coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence, consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. This will enhance the overall flow of the essay.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction is clear and sets up the discussion effectively, outlining the two opposing views clearly.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion neatly summarizes the main points discussed and clearly states your opinion, which is very effective.
logical structure
The essay is logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a single idea that supports your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
You provide a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, which shows a good comprehension of the topic.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!