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Band 3

Households owning and renting accomodation in England and Wales 1918 to 2011

#households #accomodation #england #wales
The supplied bar graph gives information on the percentage of individuals who owned or rented accommodation in two different countries, namely England and Wales over the period of 93 years. Units are measured
in
Change preposition
apply
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per
cents
Fix the agreement mistake
cent
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. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
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first glance,
it is clear that
expenditure
Correct article usage
the expenditure
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 patterns of residents on housing
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
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 considerably from different periods connected with various consequences.
However
, in 1971 households who owned and rented chambers plateaued. Individuals who rented accommodation for convenient living in 1918 comprised approximately 78%. Notwithstanding of high popularity of renting apartments or houses among society members
Add a comma
,
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it dropped overwhelmingly to just 30 percent in 1991 and
then
 rocketed slightly to nearly 35%.
On the other hand
, the percentage of households in 1918 in Wales and England who owned living quarters comprised nearly 22%. Over the period of 14 years from 1939 to 1953 the number of residents who
prefer
Wrong verb form
preferred
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 owning rooms remained stable. From 1981 jumped up noticeably
at
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to
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 70% in 2001.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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introduction conclusion present
Create a more comprehensive introduction and conclusion to give your essay a more structured feel. This helps the reader understand the scope and summary of your analysis.
logical structure
Work on making your logical structure flow more smoothly. Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and ensure each paragraph transitions well to the next.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific data points or examples to support your points more effectively. This can enhance your analysis and provide clearer insights for the reader.
task achievement
The essay provides a good overall summary of the data, highlighting key trends and changes over the specified period.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have included relevant data and percentages which make it easier for the reader to understand your analysis and the trends over time.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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