Nowadays in many countries people are following the latest fashion, hairstyles and clothing. Why are they influenced by fashion? Is it a positive or a negative development?

#countries #people #fashion #hairstyles #development

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Recently, the

fashion

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industry

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has

taked

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taken

show examples

over

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apply

show examples

the world by storm.

People

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nowadays are easily influenced by several matters, and one of the major industries

that

Linking Words

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are

show examples

influencing most

people

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around the world is looks and

fashion

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This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the reasons why

people

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are

affect impacted

Wrong verb form

affected

show examples

this

Linking Words

industry

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. As I see it, the leading causes as to why many

people

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are affected by

fashion

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are the global spread of

fashion

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designs on video apps, and because many

people

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think that

fashion

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can show the personality of many others.

Fashion

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has been spreading like wildfire in many apps.

Therefore

Linking Words

, many

people

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are consuming

this

Linking Words

trend and are applying it to themselves.

For example

Linking Words

, many

people

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spend hours on end on

tiktok

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TikTok

, which is a video app, and a

suprising

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surprising

amount of the videos that are shared on the app

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

Use synonyms

Change preposition

in fashion

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fashion

Replace the word

fashionable

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. It is generally thought that personalities can be represented by a person's

fashion

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and the

clothes

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they wear.

For example

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, someone

that is

Linking Words

wearing nice

clothes

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

has a good haircut

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apply

show examples

and has nice

fashion

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is thought to be an elegant person with a nice personality. I believe that

fashion

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has affected the world negatively and will

continuously

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continue

show examples

to do so. The

fashion

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industry

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has set high beauty standards for everyone.

As a result

Linking Words

, many

people

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are becoming more insecure about their looks and how they dress.

For instance

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people

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nowadays cover their faces when they post a picture because they hate how they look and dress compared to the

people

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who are seen

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show examples

the

fashion

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industry

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Furthermore

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, a surprising amount of

people

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are spending most of their salaries on

clothes

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and haircuts so they can please others. As the

fashion

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industry

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keeps growing the prices will gradually increase which will make most

people

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use all of their money on the

clothes

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they buy. In conclusion, the reasons why

people

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are

influences

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influenced

show examples

is because

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

fashion

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is growing by the day

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and because

fashion

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can depict a person's personality. In my opinion, I believe that

this

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is a negative

devlopment

Correct your spelling

development

that has set beauty standards

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for

show examples

people

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worldwide.

Submitted by hashoomy2006 on Sat Aug 03 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the specific points that will be discussed in the body paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Work on enhancing paragraph linking and the use of cohesive devices to ensure a smooth flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next.

task achievement

Expand on specific examples to further illustrate and strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

The essay effectively identifies and discusses two main reasons why people are influenced by fashion.

task achievement

The writer provides thoughtful commentary on the negative influence of fashion, which helps in addressing the second question prompt effectively.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which aids in framing the essay.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

351 words

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Nowadays in many countries people are following the latest fashion, hairstyles and clothing. Why are they influenced by fashion? Is it a positive or a negative development?

As languages such as English, Spanish and Mandarin become more widely spoken, there is a fear that many minority languages may die out. Some countries have taken steps to protect minority languages.

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

Many countries spend a lot of money on art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?