Nowadays in many countries people are following the latest fashion, hairstyles and clothing. Why are they influenced by fashion? Is it a positive or a negative development?

#countries #people #fashion #hairstyles #development

Recently, the

fashion

industry

has

taked

Correct your spelling

taken

show examples

over

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the world by storm.

People

nowadays are easily influenced by several matters, and one of the major industries

that

Change the verb form

are

show examples

influencing most

people

around the world is looks and

fashion

This

essay will discuss the reasons why

people

are

affect impacted

Wrong verb form

affected

show examples

this

industry

. As I see it, the leading causes as to why many

people

are affected by

fashion

are the global spread of

fashion

designs on video apps, and because many

people

think that

fashion

can show the personality of many others.

Fashion

has been spreading like wildfire in many apps.

Therefore

, many

people

are consuming

this

trend and are applying it to themselves.

For example

, many

people

spend hours on end on

tiktok

Correct your spelling

TikTok

, which is a video app, and a

suprising

Correct your spelling

surprising

amount of the videos that are shared on the app

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

Change preposition

in fashion

show examples

fashion

Replace the word

fashionable

show examples

. It is generally thought that personalities can be represented by a person's

fashion

and the

clothes

they wear.

For example

, someone

that is

wearing nice

clothes

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

has a good haircut

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and has nice

fashion

is thought to be an elegant person with a nice personality. I believe that

fashion

has affected the world negatively and will

continuously

Replace the word

continue

show examples

to do so. The

fashion

industry

has set high beauty standards for everyone.

As a result

, many

people

are becoming more insecure about their looks and how they dress.

For instance

people

nowadays cover their faces when they post a picture because they hate how they look and dress compared to the

people

who are seen

Change preposition

show examples

the

fashion

industry

Furthermore

, a surprising amount of

people

are spending most of their salaries on

clothes

and haircuts so they can please others. As the

fashion

industry

keeps growing the prices will gradually increase which will make most

people

use all of their money on the

clothes

they buy. In conclusion, the reasons why

people

are

influences

Wrong verb form

influenced

show examples

is because

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

fashion

is growing by the day

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and because

fashion

can depict a person's personality. In my opinion, I believe that

this

is a negative

devlopment

Correct your spelling

development

that has set beauty standards

Change preposition

for

show examples

people

worldwide.

Submitted by hashoomy2006 on Sat Aug 03 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the specific points that will be discussed in the body paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Work on enhancing paragraph linking and the use of cohesive devices to ensure a smooth flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next.

task achievement

Expand on specific examples to further illustrate and strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

The essay effectively identifies and discusses two main reasons why people are influenced by fashion.

task achievement

The writer provides thoughtful commentary on the negative influence of fashion, which helps in addressing the second question prompt effectively.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which aids in framing the essay.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

351 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays in many countries people are following the latest fashion, hairstyles and clothing. Why are they influenced by fashion? Is it a positive or a negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You have recently started work in a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter, explain why you have changed your job describe your new job tell him/her your other news

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changes because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?