-Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists, others, however, believe that it is the only way to save these traditions. -Discuss both views and give your opinion

#-some #people #traditions #tourists #-discuss

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There is no doubt, that in some countries cultural traditions are used as

sours

Correct your spelling

sources

show examples

of income. Some people believe, and I agree with them, that it is the tool to keep

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

habits afloat.

However

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

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think that crowds of

tourists

Use synonyms

destroys

Change the verb form

destroy

show examples

that cultural

features

Fix the agreement mistake

feature

show examples

To begin

Linking Words

with, as a negative side of

usage

Correct article usage

the usage

show examples

native

Change preposition

of native

show examples

aspects for attracting

tourists

Use synonyms

, the risks of dissemination of a new culture, that visitors bring, will be considered.

For instance

Linking Words

british

Change the capitalization

British

show examples

culture and language

asemilated

Correct your spelling

assimilated

in India, substituting local

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, we can observe many cases, when fast food global networks

such

Linking Words

as McDonalds or KFC displace local cusins.

This

Linking Words

is because, people from developed countries

trevell

Correct your spelling

travel

travelled

around the world and bring their values to indigenous areas, destroying

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

, many countries and cities became similar,

where

Correct word choice

and

show examples

cultural specialities

vanishes

Wrong verb form

vanished

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, money from tourism

support

Correct subject-verb agreement

supports

show examples

building cultural

infrostracture

Correct your spelling

infrastructure

and historical

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

. To

ilustrate

Correct your spelling

illustrate

this

Linking Words

etnovillages

Correct your spelling

ecovillages

and heritage areas in Turkey will be noticed.

This

Linking Words

facilities attracts foreign visitors, who buy tickets,

supporting

Change the verb form

to support

show examples

restoration

Correct article usage

the restoration

show examples

of cultural objects.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, many

tourists

Use synonyms

ask for more

reviting

Correct your spelling

revisiting

revising

places, so governments may spend money on

exibition

Correct your spelling

exhibition

new traditions. Alternatively, if

tourists

Use synonyms

did not attend those castles, buildings, or other

fasilities

Correct your spelling

facilities

this

Linking Words

historical heritage would be in despair. In conclusion, I stick

Change preposition

show examples

opinion

Correct article usage

the opinion

show examples

, that the effect of money from

tourists

Use synonyms

which

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

support local customs

huge

Add a missing verb

is huge

show examples

and it

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

be exacerbated.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, the risks of the negative affecting a local culture exist and should be taken

Change preposition

into

show examples

considiration

Correct your spelling

consideration

Submitted by sergeybelov83 on Sat Aug 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

Work on grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles (a, an, the).

coherence

Ensure that linking words and phrases are used effectively to improve the flow of ideas and coherence. Consider using a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly.

clarity

Work on sentence clarity and complexity. Some sentences are awkward or unclear, so it's important to refine them for better readability.

structure

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion effectively.

development

Main points are supported with examples, which add relevance and depth to the discussion.

task response

The essay addresses both views and provides a balanced discussion before presenting the writer's opinion.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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