Some People Think That the Government Should Pay for Health Care and Education, but Others Believe It Is Not the Government’s Responsibility. Discuss Both Views and Give Your Own Opinion.
People
hold distinct views on whether governments
should bear the expense on
citizens’ health care and education. I would argue that Change preposition
of
governments
are supposed to stand a big part of the expenditure.
On the one hand, it is sometimes argued that governments
ought to be responsible for citizens’ medical and educational charge
. Fix the agreement mistake
charges
People
nowadays are suffering the
high cost of medical treatment and prescription medicines. Change preposition
from the
For example
, patients who are treated in ICU are required to pay around 10,000 CNY every day, which is unaffordable for most of
Change preposition
apply
the
families in China. If Correct article usage
apply
governments
pay for the spending on health care, sick individuals who give up therapies for lack of money will have likelihood
to be cured. Add an article
the likelihood
a likelihood
Furthermore
, children born in destitute families are not allowed to attend schools, which means they do not have opportunities to break their plights. With the
financial help from Correct article usage
apply
governments
, these children will have access to education and resolve their difficulties.
On the other hand
, some people
think that payment for the two items should not be included in the governments’
responsibilities. Change noun form
government’s
Governments
are expected to spend their funds on building infrastructures and improving national security. The public purse cannot additionally
stand the huge cost, especially in the big countries with large populations, unless citizens are imposed
to pay higher taxes than before. Verb problem
forced
However
, it is virtually impossible to achieve since this
proposal merely benefits the individuals who are poor. Also
, this
action will encourage people
to take unnecessary medical check-up
and courses, augmenting the financial burden of the countries.
In conclusion, I think it is conducive for citizens if Fix the agreement mistake
check-ups
governments
pay the majority of residents’ expenditures on schooling and medical treatment, in consideration of the financial problem and humanity.Submitted by Tess
on
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task achievement
Your essay effectively presents both views on the topic and your own opinion. However, to strengthen your essay, strive to provide more balanced arguments for both perspectives. Make sure to add more relevant examples to support the points made, especially for the side you oppose.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured and flows well, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using linking phrases to clearly show the relation between ideas and arguments. This will make your essay more coherent and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Try to diversify sentence structures and use more synonyms to avoid repetition, especially within the same paragraph. This will enrich your vocabulary range and demonstrate a higher level of writing proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, making it easy for the reader to understand the essay's direction from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and the arguments presented, providing a clear ending to the essay.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples that help in illustrating your points, which adds credibility to your arguments.