The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it's the greatest problem faced by humanity?
"In recent years, the main issue that people are facing is the continuous rise of the global
population
. This
trend is driven by various factors and is a significant concern for humanity. Modern facilities such
as healthcare centers
and advancements in medical services are fundamental reasons for increased longevity. Medical services play a crucial role in Change the spelling
centres
overall
well-being by providing treatments for incurable illnesses and quick assistance for conditions like blood pressure or heart problems.
Additionally
, the availability of healthy food choices at affordable costs encourages people to maintain a healthy lifestyle, contributing to longer life spans. Consequently
, the rising population
is often seen as a major problem for humanity. Despite the benefits of having a larger population
, increasing demands for facilities can endanger others' lives. For instance
, as the population
grows, available land for crops, wildlife, and forests may be significantly reduced, leading to food shortages, increased carbon dioxide levels, and the loss of rare species.
Therefore
, concerns about the global population
rise may necessitate serious steps to address these issues. In conclusion, advancements in medicine and the availability of healthy foods are key contributors to the rising population
, which may have negative consequences in the future."Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task by discussing the causes of the continued rise in the world's population and offering an opinion on whether it is the greatest problem faced by humanity. However, you could develop your arguments further for a more comprehensive response. Consider providing additional examples or detailed evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is generally well-structured and logical. However, ensuring that there is a smooth flow between paragraphs can enhance readability. Quick references to points earlier in your essay might help strengthen overall cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to structure your response effectively. This will positively impact your score for coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You have identified relevant causes for the continued rise in the world's population and mentioned possible consequences. This helps demonstrate task achievement.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion