Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. Whatare its causes, and what solutions can solution

It is an irrefutable fact that in the contemporary world,
children
are facing some health
problem
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problems
show examples
such
as
obesity
which
is usually find
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is usually found
show examples
in adult individuals.
Such
a trend could bring about various problems,which demand immediate consideration.
This
essay will examine the reasons
like
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for
show examples
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
of mobile phones and eating processed
food
and solutions for
this
trend like more physical moments and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
diet by using examples in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are several reasons behind
obesity
, especially when it's
founded
Verb problem
found
show examples
in young humans. The first and foremost cause behind
obese
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obesity
show examples
in
children
is the huge usage of electronic products like iPads,
computers
Correct word choice
and computers
show examples
.To explain, nowadays most
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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youngsters spend their leisure
time
on social sites and video games, and
due to
that, they usually avoid physical games and exercise,
as a result
,more than 58% of
children
in the USA face
obesity
problems, as per research multi-media channels.
In addition
to that, people are busy in their workaholic life and
that is
the reason they
failed
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fail
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to make
home cooked
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home-cooked
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food
for their young ones,
instead
, as per
recent
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a recent
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survey more than 50%
families
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of families
show examples
spend a lot of money on unhealthy diets because they went to restaurants once every week to give
best
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the best
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treat to youngsters which they want. Despite these challenges, there are many solutions which we can use to mitigate the above obstacles.
However
, certain measures are suggested to avoid the
escalationof
Correct your spelling
escalation of
this
trend.
To begin
with, the best solution to
this
obesity
problem is healthy
home made
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homemade
show examples
food
. Every guardian needs to provide super healthy options to their young ones so that they can protect themself from different diseases which
obesity
can cause. Another possible solution can be to set a
time
limit on the use of technology
product
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products
show examples
and motivate
children
to play physical games like basketball, and cricket to improve their physical capacity.
According to
the research of science students of the Fraser University of BC, youngsters who invest their
time
in physical sports are 20% stronger than those who are wasting their
time
on mobile phones.
To conclude
, more and more
children
are becoming obese because of their lifestyle.
This
essay
discussed
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discusses
show examples
the
reason
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reasons
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behind
this problem
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these problems
show examples
like fast
food
and less participation in physical sports, and
also
suggest
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suggests
show examples
solutions like healthy cuisines can be helpful to overcome the above setbacks.
Submitted by arshkaurbrar on

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task achievement
Expand on the causes and solutions with more depth. Discussing more about how technology impacts physical activity or elaborating on healthy diet benefits could be valuable.
coherence and cohesion
Work on making sure your ideas flow smoothly from one paragraph to the next. Use transitional phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is well-developed. Reorganize the content to improve the essay’s structure.
task achievement
The essay mentions relevant causes and solutions, such as the use of technology and the consumption of fast food leading to obesity.
coherence and cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, which help provide a good overview and wrap up the essay.
task achievement
Examples and data, like stats about the USA and research from Fraser University, add strength to the arguments.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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