Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. Whatare its causes, and what solutions can solution
It is an irrefutable fact that in the contemporary world,
children
are facing some health Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
such
as Linking Words
obesity
which Use synonyms
is usually find
in adult individuals. Change the verb form
is usually found
Such
a trend could bring about various problems,which demand immediate consideration. Linking Words
This
essay will examine the reasons Linking Words
like
Change preposition
for
use
of mobile phones and eating processed Correct article usage
the use
food
and solutions for Use synonyms
this
trend like more physical moments and Linking Words
healthy
diet by using examples in the upcoming paragraphs.
To commence with, there are several reasons behind Correct article usage
a healthy
obesity
, especially when it's Use synonyms
founded
in young humans. The first and foremost cause behind Verb problem
found
obese
in Replace the word
obesity
children
is the huge usage of electronic products like iPads, Use synonyms
computers
.To explain, nowadays most Correct word choice
and computers
of
Change preposition
apply
the
youngsters spend their leisure Correct article usage
apply
time
on social sites and video games, and Use synonyms
due to
that, they usually avoid physical games and exercise, Linking Words
as a result
,more than 58% of Linking Words
children
in the USA face Use synonyms
obesity
problems, as per research multi-media channels. Use synonyms
In addition
to that, people are busy in their workaholic life and Linking Words
that is
the reason they Linking Words
failed
to make Wrong verb form
fail
home cooked
Add a hyphen
home-cooked
food
for their young ones, Use synonyms
instead
, as per Linking Words
recent
survey more than 50% Correct article usage
a recent
families
spend a lot of money on unhealthy diets because they went to restaurants once every week to give Change preposition
of families
best
treat to youngsters which they want. Despite these challenges, there are many solutions which we can use to mitigate the above obstacles.
Change the article
the best
However
, certain measures are suggested to avoid the Linking Words
escalationof
Correct your spelling
escalation of
this
trend. Linking Words
To begin
with, the best solution to Linking Words
this
Linking Words
obesity
problem is healthy Use synonyms
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
food
. Every guardian needs to provide super healthy options to their young ones so that they can protect themself from different diseases which Use synonyms
obesity
can cause. Another possible solution can be to set a Use synonyms
time
limit on the use of technology Use synonyms
product
and motivate Fix the agreement mistake
products
children
to play physical games like basketball, and cricket to improve their physical capacity. Use synonyms
According to
the research of science students of the Fraser University of BC, youngsters who invest their Linking Words
time
in physical sports are 20% stronger than those who are wasting their Use synonyms
time
on mobile phones.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, more and more Linking Words
children
are becoming obese because of their lifestyle. Use synonyms
This
essay Linking Words
discussed
the Wrong verb form
discusses
reason
behind Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
Linking Words
this problem
like fast Fix the agreement mistake
these problems
food
and less participation in physical sports, and Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
suggest
solutions like healthy cuisines can be helpful to overcome the above setbacks.Correct subject-verb agreement
suggests
Submitted by arshkaurbrar on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Expand on the causes and solutions with more depth. Discussing more about how technology impacts physical activity or elaborating on healthy diet benefits could be valuable.
coherence and cohesion
Work on making sure your ideas flow smoothly from one paragraph to the next. Use transitional phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is well-developed. Reorganize the content to improve the essay’s structure.
task achievement
The essay mentions relevant causes and solutions, such as the use of technology and the consumption of fast food leading to obesity.
coherence and cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, which help provide a good overview and wrap up the essay.
task achievement
Examples and data, like stats about the USA and research from Fraser University, add strength to the arguments.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.