IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You have just won two tickets to a concert and want invite your friend to go with you.Write a letter to your friend. In the letter: •give details about the concert •describe how you won the tickets •explain why you've chosen your friend to go with.

#two #tickets #concert #friend #•give #•describe #•explain #ve
Dear Marjona I hope you are in good health. I am glad to inform you
to
Change preposition
of
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 the live
concert
.
Concert
Add an article
The concert
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 includes different types of songs:
classic
Fix the agreement mistake
classics
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,jazz,pop,rock and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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etc.There
many
Add a missing verb
are many
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 facilities, especially
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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restaurants and shops for everything.
Additionally
 to
this
once
Correct your spelling
one
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 time I have heard that songs
were sang
Change the verb form
were sung
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 by famous people.
Concert
Add an article
The concert
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 will throw outside
in
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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Book Street and at 7 p.m Well,I understand you came faced with
question
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a question
the question
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that
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of
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 how I got those tickets.I won them during the summer camp.As you know, summer camp has been creating new games every year.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 they have been putting big gifts for winners.
This
 year we played
the
Correct article usage
a
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 game
which
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in which
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 we had to
sang
Wrong verb form
sing
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 songs at the disco so I beat every single opponent. After
that
Add a comma
that,
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 they gave me two tickets for
concert
Add an article
the concert
a concert
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. Honestly, I don't want to tell about my feelings anyone.
However
Add a comma
However,
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 you are my really best friend.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 we have not met for 3 years and I miss you
that is
 why I have chosen you to go with me. I look forward
for
Change preposition
to
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 your answer. I think you
response
Replace the word
respond
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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as soon as possible. All my love, Feruzabonu.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. Consider revising these parts to improve overall readability.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph introduces a single main idea and is structured accordingly. This enhances the logical flow of the letter.
task achievement
You have included all the required details about the concert, how you won the tickets, and the reason for choosing your friend, which addresses the task comprehensively.
task achievement
Your tone is friendly and appropriate for a letter to a friend, which helps make the invitation feel genuine and heartfelt.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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