IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter: introduce yourself say why you are interested in this sports club ask some questions about the club e.g. facilities , members, costs

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Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to ask
information
Change preposition
for information
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 about a sports club which is nearby. My name is Oqila. I have been learning education in a college for a
while
Linking Words
 and there are no sports groups that I can take part in. I have a keen interest in volleyball since I was born. I have been playing
this
Linking Words
 game since I was a kid. I was the best player in my school and won a lot of medals. I want to be a professional player in the world and break the world record. I have read your advertisement about the volleyball course which everybody is talking about and would like to get more information about it.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I would like to know the location of the club and when it will start. I wonder if I need any documents to join and how many members will be in the course. I would be grateful
whether
Correct word choice
if
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 you could tell me what the price is and other things which are included in
club
Add an article
the club
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. I would appreciate it if you could inform me as soon as possible. You can contact me on my mobile phone which is +998990463414 . I look forward to hearing from you Yours faithfully Oqila

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task achievement
Your letter is clear and well-organized, but it could benefit from further details about how the sports club would fit into your schedule and your goals for joining. Including these details would make your request even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, consider ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. You can achieve this by using transitional phrases that connect ideas naturally.
task achievement
You have done well to introduce yourself and explain your interest in the sports club clearly. This provides a good context for your request.
task achievement
Your letter has an appropriate tone that is both polite and professional, suitable for a formal request like this.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are appropriate for the context, which helps create a formal and respectful tone.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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