IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Cooperation rather than competition should be encouraged among high-school students.” In about 200- 250 words, write an essay to express your opinion on the proposal. Use reasons and examples to support your position

#cooperation #competition #high-school #students #support #position
Competition
 among
high_school
Correct your spelling
high school
 students is
controversial
Correct article usage
a controversial
show examples
subjects
Fix the agreement mistake
subject
show examples
 nowadays, in
this
 essay, I shall elaborate on
also
, I shall reveal my point of view on
this
 topic
To begin
 with,
however
,
competition
considers
Wrong verb form
is considered
show examples
 as a motivation action towards schooling pupils.
Hence
 it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
, may produce some
querral
Correct your spelling
quarrels
 among them ,
therefore
, the idea of
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
 is better than
competition
Add an article
the competition
show examples
.
Moreover
,
cooperation
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
 increases the bonds
as well as
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them more
socialism
Replace the word
socialist
show examples
,
Furthermore
, the notion of being
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
school mate
Correct your spelling
schoolmate
show examples
 will
also
,
affected
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the psychological state of students.
Additionally
, the study mission will be easily achieved,
besides
,
it is clear that
this
 concept will definitely reverse on community,
consequently
, the spirit of
cooperation
 will arise with them when they are growing up and starting to work in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
According to
 my opinion, I wholeheartedly concur with the notion of
cooperation
 rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition
 among the schooling students.
Thus
 the pros
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 countless. To sum it up,
overall
, the idea of encouraging the
cooperation
 spirit inside the institutions is a wonderful subject to increase the quality of success
as a result
 the student will be a good person toward his/him nation.
Submitted by sarah.baghdad20 on

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task achievement
Revise the introduction to state your position clearly from the start. Consider outlining the main points you will discuss.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This could involve giving real-life scenarios or hypothetical situations to illustrate the benefits of cooperation.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical progression of ideas by using appropriate linking words and phrases. This will help to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This will improve the clarity and structure of your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt and chosen a clear stand on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, which provides a sense of closure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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