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Writing Samples
Band 4

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can couse serious social problems ,as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#country #language #couse
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Living as an
immigrant
 person in some countries can
resultresult
Correct your spelling
result result
 in some social and practical issues. I completely agree with
this
 idea and
this
 essay will explain what I thought. There are several reasons why individuals can face very difficult
problems
 in foreign countries.
Firstly
, they do not speak
as well as
 their native language and
this
 language barrier can
resultresult
Correct your spelling
result result
 in some social
problems
.
Secondly
, there might be some miscommunication between local
people
 and
immigrant
people
 and
this
 might end with linguistic alienation.
Finally
, it is hard for social integration for these
people
.
For example
, they cannot find friends
as well as
 native folk.
Thus
,
immigrant
people
 feel depressed and social isolation becomes inevitable for these
people
. I
also
 believe that they might tackle some practical
problems
 parallel to social
problems
. If they do not speak
Correct article usage
the
show examples
country
's language at
advanced
Add an article
an advanced
the advanced
show examples
 level, they might have trouble finding a job and
this
 affects
people
's income. They
also
 do not know the
country
's laws and maybe it is the most important thing for
immigrant
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they might be deported from
this
country
.
For instance
, if they do not know how can they change their visa situation, visa application or similar
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
paper
works
Verb problem
apply
show examples
, it can
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
show examples
 very vital
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe that being a bilingual person in a foreign
country
 is sometimes very hard for some practical and social reasons.
Submitted by bkardelenyilmazz on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you eliminate repetitive phrases and typographical errors. For example, the word 'resultresult' is repeated twice in the introduction, which could interrupt the flow for the reader.
task achievement
It would be beneficial to add more concrete and specific examples to illustrate your points. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate the practical and social challenges you described.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is sound, but you could strengthen it by summarizing the main points in a clearer manner, emphasizing the critical issues faced by those living in a foreign country.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Good use of transitional phrases like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Finally' which help guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
You have effectively identified both social and practical problems that immigrants may face, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Social isolation
  • 2. Loneliness
  • 3. Social exclusion
  • 4. Community activities
  • 5. Cultural misunderstandings
  • 6. Cultural norms and values
  • 7. Social friction
  • 8. Social conflicts
  • 9. Employment challenges
  • 10. Language proficiency
  • 11. Job market
  • 12. Essential services
  • 13. Healthcare
  • 14. Legal aid
  • 15. Government support
  • 16. Practical problems
  • 17. Educational barriers
  • 18. Academic performance
  • 19. Future opportunities
  • 20. Integration process
  • 21. Adaptation
  • 22. Immigrants
  • 23. Foreign language
  • 24. Communication
  • 25. Wellbeing
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