in some counties university students live at flat with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend to the university in other city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays in some
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
university
students
live Change preposition
in at
at
flat with their family Correct your spelling
a
while
they study
, whereas
in other countries students
attend to
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
university
in other
Change the wording
another city
other cities
city
. I totally agree that living away from home
during university
has more advantages for children
. Although
, it is important
thingAdd an article
an important
the important
which
, for all Correct pronoun usage
apply
university
students
.
In today`s modern world, studying is integral
part of our life. Change the article
an integral
Also
, today social network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
is
developing year by year. Most people want to Correct subject-verb agreement
are
study
live
at Correct word choice
and live
home
with their familiy
Correct your spelling
family
families
while
they sduty
, but it has a lot of disadvantages. When Correct your spelling
study
students
attend to
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
university
from
another Change preposition
in
city
for styudy
, their Correct your spelling
study
sciense
Correct your spelling
science
practise
and their Correct your spelling
practice
wolrd
of view Correct your spelling
world
Add a missing verb
are absolutly
absolutly
Correct your spelling
absolutely
inceased
. Correct your spelling
increased
Therefore
most parents must attention their
Change preposition
to their
children
attends
Wrong verb form
attending
university
. Moreover
, nowadays online study
is developing all
countries, Change preposition
in all
especiallu
pandemic time. Correct your spelling
especially
In
Change preposition
During
pandemic
time most Correct article usage
the pandemic
students
did not want to attend to study
in another city
, but now most student
attend Change to a plural noun
students
to
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
university
in Fix the agreement mistake
universities
other
Change the wording
another city
other cities
city
.
In addition
a lot of people especially, parents want to study
their children
from home
by online study
. Because they do not want to give extra money their
Change preposition
to their
children
study
, Fix the infinitive
to study
but
Correct word choice
apply
this
situation vey
bad and uncomfortable for Correct your spelling
very
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
an
Correct your spelling
and
study
. For Fix the agreement mistake
studies
Correct your spelling
instance
inctance
most parents take care Add a comma
inctance,
their
Change preposition
of their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
study
. Fix the agreement mistake
studies
Also
Add a comma
Also,
the
must control Correct your spelling
they
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
attendane
Correct your spelling
attendance
attendant
to
Change preposition
at
university
.
To sum up
, nowadays in some countries university
students
live at
flat with their Correct your spelling
a
study
, Fix the agreement mistake
studies
whereas
in other counries
Correct your spelling
countries
students
attend to
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
a
university
in another city
. I totally agree that,
living away from Remove the comma
apply
home
during university
has a lot of disadvantages.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay needs a clearer logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, and there should be smooth transitions between them.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should be more aligned with the arguments presented in the essay. Make sure it effectively summarizes your main points.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Avoid repetition and try to use a variety of sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the issue and provides a stance on the topic.
task achievement
The essay touches upon several relevant points, such as the benefits of living away from home and the context of online study during the pandemic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example