in some counties university students live at flat with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend to the university in other city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

#counties #university #students #study #countries #city #home

Nowadays in some

counties

Correct your spelling

countries

show examples

university

students

live

Change preposition

in at

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

flat with their family

while

they

study

whereas

in other countries

students

attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

university

other

Change the wording

another city

other cities

show examples

city

. I totally agree that living away from

home

during

university

has more advantages for

children

Although

, it is

important

Add an article

an important

the important

show examples

thing

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, for all

university

students

. In today`s modern world, studying is

integral

Change the article

an integral

show examples

part of our life.

Also

, today social

network

Fix the agreement mistake

networks

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

developing year by year. Most people want to

study

live

Correct word choice

and live

show examples

home

with their

familiy

Correct your spelling

family

families

while

they

sduty

Correct your spelling

study

, but it has a lot of disadvantages. When

students

attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

university

from

Change preposition

show examples

another

city

for

styudy

Correct your spelling

study

, their

sciense

Correct your spelling

science

practise

Correct your spelling

practice

show examples

and their

wolrd

Correct your spelling

world

of view

Add a missing verb

are absolutly

show examples

absolutly

Correct your spelling

absolutely

inceased

Correct your spelling

increased

Therefore

most parents must attention

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

children

attends

Wrong verb form

attending

show examples

university

Moreover

, nowadays online

study

is developing

all

Change preposition

in all

show examples

countries,

especiallu

Correct your spelling

especially

pandemic time.

Change preposition

During

show examples

pandemic

Correct article usage

the pandemic

show examples

time most

students

did not want to attend to

study

in another

city

, but now most

student

Change to a plural noun

students

show examples

attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

university

Fix the agreement mistake

universities

show examples

other

Change the wording

another city

other cities

show examples

city

In addition

a lot of people especially, parents want to

study

their

children

from

home

by online

study

. Because they do not want to give extra money

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

children

study

Fix the infinitive

to study

show examples

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

this

situation

vey

Correct your spelling

very

bad and uncomfortable for

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

. For

Correct your spelling

instance

inctance

Add a comma

inctance,

show examples

most parents take care

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

children's

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

must control

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

children's

attendane

Correct your spelling

attendance

attendant

Change preposition

show examples

university

To sum up

, nowadays in some countries

university

students

live

Correct your spelling

show examples

flat with their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

whereas

in other

counries

Correct your spelling

countries

students

attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

university

in another

city

. I totally agree that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

living away from

home

during

university

has a lot of disadvantages.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Sun Aug 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay needs a clearer logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, and there should be smooth transitions between them.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion should be more aligned with the arguments presented in the essay. Make sure it effectively summarizes your main points.

task achievement

Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing.

task achievement

Avoid repetition and try to use a variety of sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.

task achievement

The introduction clearly states the issue and provides a stance on the topic.

task achievement

The essay touches upon several relevant points, such as the benefits of living away from home and the context of online study during the pandemic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
59Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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in some counties university students live at flat with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend to the university in other city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Most scientific inventions and discoveries are worthless and only waste of time and money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reason for this, and suggest some solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

In some societies, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might the parental role develop in the future?

In many parts of the world, some famous people are considered as 'role models' and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?

in many countries, more and more young people are leaving school and unable to find jobs after graduation. What problems do you think youth unemployment will cause to the individual and society?give reasons and make some suggestions.