in some counties university students live at flat with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend to the university in other city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays in some

counties

Correct your spelling

countries

show examples

university

Use synonyms

students

Use synonyms

live

Change preposition

in at

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

flat with their family

while

Linking Words

they

study

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

in other countries

students

Use synonyms

attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

university

Use synonyms

other

Change the wording

another city

other cities

show examples

city

Use synonyms

. I totally agree that living away from

home

Use synonyms

during

university

Use synonyms

has more advantages for

children

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

, it is

important

Add an article

an important

the important

show examples

thing

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, for all

university

Use synonyms

students

Use synonyms

. In today`s modern world, studying is

integral

Change the article

an integral

show examples

part of our life.

Also

Linking Words

, today social

network

Fix the agreement mistake

networks

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

developing year by year. Most people want to

study

Use synonyms

live

Correct word choice

and live

show examples

home

Use synonyms

with their

familiy

Correct your spelling

family

families

while

Linking Words

they

sduty

Correct your spelling

study

, but it has a lot of disadvantages. When

students

Use synonyms

attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

university

Use synonyms

from

Change preposition

show examples

another

city

Use synonyms

for

styudy

Correct your spelling

study

, their

sciense

Correct your spelling

science

practise

Correct your spelling

practice

show examples

and their

wolrd

Correct your spelling

world

of view

Add a missing verb

are absolutly

show examples

absolutly

Correct your spelling

absolutely

inceased

Correct your spelling

increased

Therefore

Linking Words

most parents must attention

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

children

Use synonyms

attends

Wrong verb form

attending

show examples

university

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, nowadays online

study

Use synonyms

is developing

all

Change preposition

in all

show examples

countries,

especiallu

Correct your spelling

especially

pandemic time.

Change preposition

During

show examples

pandemic

Correct article usage

the pandemic

show examples

time most

students

Use synonyms

did not want to attend to

study

Use synonyms

in another

city

Use synonyms

, but now most

student

Change to a plural noun

students

show examples

attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

university

Fix the agreement mistake

universities

show examples

other

Change the wording

another city

other cities

show examples

city

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

a lot of people especially, parents want to

study

Use synonyms

their

children

Use synonyms

from

home

Use synonyms

by online

study

Use synonyms

. Because they do not want to give extra money

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

children

Use synonyms

study

Fix the infinitive

to study

show examples

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

situation

vey

Correct your spelling

very

bad and uncomfortable for

Use synonyms

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

Use synonyms

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

. For

Correct your spelling

instance

inctance

Add a comma

inctance,

show examples

most parents take care

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

children's

Use synonyms

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

must control

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

children's

attendane

Correct your spelling

attendance

attendant

Change preposition

show examples

university

Use synonyms

To sum up

Linking Words

, nowadays in some countries

university

Use synonyms

students

Use synonyms

live

Correct your spelling

show examples

flat with their

Use synonyms

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

whereas

Linking Words

in other

counries

Correct your spelling

countries

students

Use synonyms

attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

university

Use synonyms

in another

city

Use synonyms

. I totally agree that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

living away from

home

Use synonyms

during

university

Use synonyms

has a lot of disadvantages.

Bunnijon16

Aug 4, 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay needs a clearer logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, and there should be smooth transitions between them.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion should be more aligned with the arguments presented in the essay. Make sure it effectively summarizes your main points.

task achievement

Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing.

task achievement

Avoid repetition and try to use a variety of sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.

task achievement

The introduction clearly states the issue and provides a stance on the topic.

task achievement

The essay touches upon several relevant points, such as the benefits of living away from home and the context of online study during the pandemic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
59
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Some people believe that taking risks, in both workplace and private matters, is crucial and provides benefits. In my opinion, the positive outcome of the action doesn't outweigh the drawbacks, as it affects long-term life stability.
9
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In this fast-paced world, smartphones are top-notch amusement gadgets. Nowadays, children engage themselves with their phones for long hours as a routine day life. The arguments and discussions were visualised as they impart an equivalent role in a toddler's life. In the subsequent ,paragraphs both arguments were precisely discussed and will try to arrive at a conclusion.
7.5
band
In recent years many local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers to do their shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?
There is no denying that the number of customers who are going to go to large shopping centres for their shopping has been increasing over and over these days. Due to the development of customer benefits in large shopping centres, many people would prefer to shop in big shopping centres. However, some people say this issue has negative effects on our association.
6
band
Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?
In recent years, suffering from fatness has become an essential issue among young people. The main factors responsible for obesity are the significant popularity of junk meals and the limitation of physical actions in adolescents. To address these problems, the government should reduce the cost of health products and parents must force their children to keep an active lifestyle.
6
band
Many people buy unnecessary things and get into debt when they do not need them. why people who buy extra things are getting into debt and discuss possible solutions.
In today's digital age, there is a common issue of wasting on tools that we do not actually need .

in some counties university students live at flat with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend to the university in other city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In recent years many local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers to do their shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

Many people buy unnecessary things and get into debt when they do not need them. why people who buy extra things are getting into debt and discuss possible solutions.