Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympic is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The majority of
people
argue that Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
games
are captivating events that bring country
together. Others have Add an article
the country
opinion
a waste of cost and the Add an article
the opinion
money
can be acceptable spending on other things. There are same
benefits Correct article usage
the same
making
tournament Change preposition
of making
Olympic
games
not only it can cooperate different Capitalize word
Games
countries
with the competition. And It also
got a relationship by joined
the events. Change the form of the verb
joining
However
, it requires much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
money
to develop sport
Change the noun form
sports
facilities
.
On the one hand, although
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
games
are spending much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
money
, There are some advantages for most countries
. First of all the nation could be
Unnecessary verb
apply
cooperation
with Replace the word
cooperate
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
countries
, such
as,
playing football can make Remove the comma
apply
relation
each Fix the agreement mistake
relations
athlete
during their Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
are match
, so it more easy to know each other Change the verb form
match
with
following the championship. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, the country follow
the Change the verb form
follows
Olympic
games
which know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
another nations
.
Replace the adjective
another nation
other nations
On the other hand
, the
numerous Correct article usage
apply
people
would say that is
spending much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
money
. Because they need to build infrastructure, for instance
, the stadium for the Olympic
games
, Therefore
need big cost building the place for playing the games
but the impact is not essential for the country. However
, it more better to invest in sector education
and economy
because it Correct article usage
the economy
effects
good for poor Verb problem
is
people
and human beings. Consequently
, many people
feel the impact investment of education
more Change preposition
in education
good
than building Correct word choice
better
facilities
Olympic
games
because of
after the event Change preposition
apply
people
do not used
Change the verb form
use
for
public Change preposition
apply
facilities
.
I support the nation must be invest
in the field Wrong verb form
investment
education
and economy Change preposition
of education
compare
to Wrong verb form
compared
support
Wrong verb form
supporting
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
games
. However
, it is essential for human beings especially in developing countries
, so they can get the effect to increase the
knowledge and Change the word
their
development
village, Replace the word
develop
for
instance
Add a comma
instance,
people
will be smart and it to be rich because of Correct article usage
the development
development
economy.
To sumReplace the word
developed
, there
are some Change preposition
up, there
positive
to join the Fix the agreement mistake
positives
Olympic
games
for many nation
which get cooperation Change to a plural noun
nations
Change preposition
from another
another
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
countries
and getting
Wrong verb form
get
relationship
during they are following the contest. Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
Nevertheless
, some
drawback is spending a lot of Correct determiner usage
one
money
to invest the
stadium and other Change preposition
in the
facilities
Change preposition
for sport
sport
. I recommend Fix the agreement mistake
sports
to invest
in field Change the verb form
investing
education
and sector
more bigger impact than infestation on Add an article
the sector
tournament
.Fix the agreement mistake
tournaments
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Work on grammar and sentence structure to enhance clarity and readability. For example, ensure subject-verb agreement and proper use of articles.
evidence
Focus on extending points with more specific examples and explanations to support your arguments better.
structure
Improve the logical structure of your essay by clearly connecting ideas and paragraphs. Transition phrases can help guide the reader smoothly through your argument.
task completion
You have addressed both views in the discussion and provided your own opinion, which is crucial for a balanced task response.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are presented, which helps in framing your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.