Reserarch show that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. what is the causes of this ? what can be done ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the number of research studies has increased. One of these studies indicates that some
activities
Use synonyms
are good for health and others are harmful, Despite
this
Linking Words
knowledge, many
people
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
participate in
harmul
Correct your spelling
harmful
activities
Use synonyms
. Based on
this
Linking Words
there are many reasons that lead to
this
Linking Words
issue
Use synonyms
and there are many solutions to tackle it. These days, a new habit has emerged, which is
addiction
Add an article
an addiction
the addiction
show examples
to various
activities
Use synonyms
, and one main cause of
this
Linking Words
issue
Use synonyms
is the lack of awareness. To explain, some
people
Use synonyms
may become addicted to harmful
activities
Use synonyms
, making it difficult for them to quit.
For example
Linking Words
, smoking is one harmful habit that a person may become addicted to, finding it difficult to quit or not knowing how to quit. To tackle
this
Linking Words
issue
Use synonyms
, the government should raise awareness about how
people
Use synonyms
can abandon harmful
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
and adopt healthier ones.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can introduce a subject in schools to educate students on how to break bad habits and avoid them in the future. The second reason is that influencers can encourage individuals, especially children, to engage in unhealthy
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. Nowadays, many famous
people
Use synonyms
perform harmful challenges on social media, and children imitate them.
For example
Linking Words
, a new trend has emerged where
people
Use synonyms
hit others and leave them to cry to see who cries the most, record videos of it, and
then
Linking Words
share them. To solve
this
Linking Words
issue
Use synonyms
, the government should implement policies that limit the availability of
such
Linking Words
unhealthy
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, including stricter regulations on the types of challenges allowed on social media.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
there are many bad actions
people
Use synonyms
do, there are many ways to tackle
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by alharrasialanood7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve clarity and coherence, try to arrange your points more logically and ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Attempt to elaborate further on the main causes and potential solutions with a variety of supporting details to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides an introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion clearly.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as those related to smoking and social media challenges, enhance the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: