IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

You have bought new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. *Introduce yourself *Explain the situation *Say what action you would like the company to take

#camera #home #company #representative #week #*introduce #*explain #situation #*say #action
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Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to express my
dissatisfactions
Fix the agreement mistake
dissatisfaction
show examples
 with
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
camera
Use synonyms
. My name is Ozodbek I am your store’s customer. I am disappointed with the service that I received because it had a malfunction. The first thing I would like to draw your attention to is my new digital
camera
Use synonyms
. Two days ago, I needed
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
camera
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
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 take good qualities
photo
Fix the agreement mistake
photos
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 in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 foreign country and
then
Linking Words
, my friend recommended your store because there are plenty of sort
Use synonyms
camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
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 and your store
very
Add a missing verb
is very
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 well-known in the city.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I made
decision
Add an article
the decision
a decision
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for purchased
Change preposition
to purchase
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 your store. I purchased
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
good
Add an article
a good
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 price.
However
Linking Words
; when I got it home, I discovered some issues.
For instance
Linking Words
:
this
Linking Words
camera
Use synonyms
 does not switch on.
Although
Linking Words
 I told your representative, my digital
camera
Use synonyms
 has still not been repaired.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I want to refund all money or
fixed
Wrong verb form
fix
show examples
this
Linking Words
camera
Use synonyms
. To resolve the problems, I would appreciate it if you could. I look forward to your reply and a resolution
my
Change preposition
to my
show examples
 problem. Yours faithfully, Ozodbek.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Ensure all ideas are fully developed and supported. Provide more specific details about the issues with the camera and your interaction with the company representative.
coherence cohesion
Improve grammar and sentence structure. Some sentences are unclear or awkwardly phrased, which affects readability.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the main issue.
task achievement
You addressed all the parts of the task: introducing yourself, explaining the situation, and stating what action you would like the company to take.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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