Many people believe that a country’s wealth is dependant on the health of its citizens. Other people argue that education is a better indicator of a nation’s wealth and well-being. What is your opinion? What are some other factors that contribute to the growth and prosperity of a country?
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There are numerous gauges to the
country
's overall
wealth. Some might argue that the citizen's health should be the primary indicator of a country
's well-being, while
others believe that education
is a better measure. Personally, I believe that education
is the rightful measure to assess the country
's financial state, however
, other factors like infrostructure
should not be overlooked.
First and foremost, Correct your spelling
infrastructure
countries
which provide their citizens with top-tier education
are paving the way to a bright future. Such
countries
realise that in order to develop they must invest in young minds who have time to grow and invent in the future. These investments result in a country
which is prosperous with its own citizens. to demonstrate China, which is one of the fastest growing
Add a hyphen
fastest-growing
countries
, has achieved this
success through a strict education
system where each student is encouraged to try to work hard and never give up.
Furthermore
, Another indicator of a Countries well
Change noun form
Country's
being
is the availability of Infrastructure Verb problem
well-being
such
as electricity, water pipes,and highways. in developing countries
it is common for electricity to cut out for no reason ,or for streets to flood for weeks without Add a comma
countries,
the
Correct article usage
apply
govrenment
notice Correct your spelling
government
.
Correct your spelling
Such occurrences
such
occurences ,while
insignificant ,are vital for assessing the overall
Prosperity. on the other hand
, developed countries
never have Such
issues indicating themselves as wealthy.
In conclusion ,Education
Plays a pivotal faute
role in assessing the Correct word choice
apply
Well being
of nations because it is the building block for a prosperous Correct your spelling
well-being
Country
. Other factors, Namely, frostructure
measure the. Convenience of living .In light of Correct your spelling
infrastructure
such
conclusion
I Correct article usage
a conclusion
to
reckon Fix the infinitive
apply
Countries
Should work hand in hand with their citizens to secure a prosperouse
futureCorrect your spelling
prosperous
Submitted by wd2288402 on
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task achievement
While your essay addresses the question well, consider providing a more balanced view in the introduction. While you primarily favor education, mention health as a significant factor too to give a more nuanced introduction.
coherence cohesion
A more structured approach to paragraphs can enhance logical flow. For example, minor grammatical errors and inconsistencies (e.g., 'infrostructure' instead of 'infrastructure', 'China' lacks an article) should be addressed for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words to connect your ideas more smoothly. Make sure each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. Phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' can improve cohesion.
task achievement
Your conclusion reiterates your opinion well but can be enhanced with a brief restatement of the main points discussed.
task achievement
Your introduction and conclusion were well-presented, clearly mentioning your stance and summarizing your viewpoint effectively.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, particularly the case of China, which added depth to your essay.