IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Improvement in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree?

It is crucial for developing
countries
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 to make some positive changes in the fields of healthcare, education, and trade. But is it a must for wealthy
countries
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 to help poorer
nations
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 in the mentioned spheres? In my opinion, richer
nations
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 should not only share their useful
experience
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 with the poorer ones but
also
Linking Words
 provide them with financial aid and volunteering.
Moreover
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, the world would be a much better place if everyone helped each other in need.
Firstly
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, low-wage
countries
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 often struggle with a lack of positive examples and need assistance in order to improve certain areas of social life. So, high-income
nations
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 and their unions are perfect for
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experience
Wrong verb form
experiencing
show examples
 adoption.
For instance
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, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a great number of charity organizations
such
Linking Words
 as UNICEF, UNESCO, and different foundations eager to help developing
countries
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, providing children with basic school education and preventing the spread of diseases. They invest in
teachers
Change noun form
teachers'
teacher's
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 and
doctors
Change noun form
doctors'
doctor's
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 training, share their own
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experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
, and contribute
into
Change preposition
to
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 education and health programs.
Furthermore
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, foundations raise money to buy necessary equipment for both schools and hospitals. Regarding trade issues, rich
nations
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 should provide international market access to developing
countries
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, allowing them to integrate more into the global economy.
Secondly
Linking Words
, kindness and helpfulness are rare nowadays.
However
Linking Words
, we should not forget about them. Fortunately, there are lots of volunteer organizations worldwide ready to help.
For example
Linking Words
, members of
such
Linking Words
 organizations work as teachers, doctors, builders, etc. They give free lessons, vaccinate children and adults in order to stop epidemics,
construct
Correct word choice
and construct
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 buildings and houses. In conclusion, I firmly believe wealthy
nations
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 should provide developing
countries
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 with different kinds of help
such
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 as
experience
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 sharing, financial aid and organizing educational and healthcare events. Giving opportunities to be a part of
global
Add an article
the global
show examples
 economy is
also
Linking Words
 essential regarding trade.

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task response
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear stance on the issue. However, to enhance clarity, ensure you explain how your examples are specifically linked to your main points. For example, elaborate on how market access benefits poorer nations.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-organized, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the overall readability and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong structure with a clear introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion. Each paragraph effectively supports the main argument.
task response
You provided specific examples, such as UNICEF and UNESCO, which make your arguments more persuasive and concrete.
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