IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think history has little or nothing to offer, while others say that study of the past help us understand the present.

#people #history #offer #study
People
 have different
viewa
Correct your spelling
views
view
 as to
wether
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
 studying
history
 is a futile pursuit or learning
history
 plays an integral role in providing better concepts to understand
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
.
While
 there are some drawbacks of
baing
Correct your spelling
being
show examples
 aware of historical information associated with
watse
Correct your spelling
waste
 of time, l believe that its potential benefits can weigh a greater weight. These days, learning
history
 often seems
as
Change preposition
like
show examples
 a futile pursuit for a lot of
people
, which means that it usually
depends
Verb problem
takes
show examples
 more effort and time to accomplish
history
 tasks.
This
 subject requires students several memory skills
such
 as
datas
Correct your spelling
data
dates
, old names and similar events which makes it far more
diffucult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 to learn.
In addition
,
history
 has nothing to deal with modern issues
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, meaning that the
overall
 lifestyle of
people
 now can
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
 a huge
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
Change preposition
from than
show examples
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 who lived before.
Therefore
, the role of learning
history
 has less impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 us
as a result
.
However
, historical understanding can yield valuable outcomes for every individual, which students can cultivate their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 and fill with
knowladge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
that is
 not only important to mitigate issues in their everyday lives based on
experience
Add an article
the experience
show examples
 of elderly
people
, but
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
also
 help them grow wise.
While
 doing so, they can find it easy to cope with problems easily,
coupled with
enouraging
Correct your spelling
encouraging
 them to be good at understanding what is right and wrong. In conclusion,
although
 learning
history
 may seem
has
Change the verb form
to have
show examples
 nothing to do with
due
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to lack of effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our current lives, l do admit that
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 potential benefits can hold
a greater outcomes
Correct the article-noun agreement
greater outcomes
a greater outcome
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 everybody.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and provides a brief overview of your viewpoint. However, there are a few spelling and grammatical errors that need attention (e.g., 'viewa' should be 'views', 'wethe' should be 'whether', 'data' should be 'data', 'diffucult' should be 'difficult', and 'enouraging' should be 'encouraging', 'knowladge' should be 'knowledge').
task achievement
Your main points are relevant but could be more elaborately developed with specific examples and more detailed explanations. For instance, you could provide concrete examples of how learning history has helped individuals or societies.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from better logical structuring. For example, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that they logically follow one another. Transitions between paragraphs can also be smoother to enhance overall cohesion.
task achievement
The essay shows a clear understanding of the topic and attempts to tackle both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main argument and reinforces your viewpoint that the benefits of learning history outweigh the drawbacks.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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