Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People
have different views as to weather
Correct your spelling
whether
school
children
must be responsible for various tasks at home or at work to do
or Verb problem
apply
they
should be independent Correct word choice
if they
to make
a decision Change preposition
in making
of
Change preposition
about
school
, Although
, doing something based on their desire can you
yield a variety of opportunities to develop after Correct pronoun usage
apply
school
, I suspect that there are some responsibilities
which has a huge significance for further
life of every pupils
.
There are many beneficial outcomes of taking additional Change to a singular noun
pupil
responsibilities
after school
hours for children
such
as experience and useful advice by
elderly Change preposition
from
people
to
be specific as long as Fix the infinitive
apply
children
dedicate their time to eat
someone who Wrong verb form
eating
are
older or younger they can take advantage of them which Change the verb form
is
contribute
to avoid misleading factors in their later life is visiting the process of helping their grandparents they often receive advice for their work leading to be aware of potential consequences of their effort through making wise decisions for positive results when it comes to experience Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
this
is another factor that children
may gain while
giving a hand to someone associated with issue in this
case they not only develop a sense of leadership but also
can be a great role model for younger people
ultimately and quickly followed by improving skills which are necessary for overall
being.
After school
times are of fun seen as a time to enjoy in the eyes of some people
that is
really fair. These days, most children
are suffering from the overload of responsibilities
both times at school
and at home. Having enough time to do whatever they want can attribute
to their physical and mental abilities positively. The main reason is that Verb problem
contribute
children
are not mature enough which means they should make decisions on their own after school
. This
may result
them Add the preposition
result in
result from
to relieve
stress, Change the verb form
relieving
Correct word choice
and gaines
gaines
the process of learning as long as they choose to play games or just Correct your spelling
gaining
sleeping
. Wrong verb form
sleep
As a result
, they can develop different skills associated with brain
and body offering Correct article usage
the brain
the
Correct your spelling
them
feel
a sense of happiness and enjoyment which they can improve their mentality and to be healthy and supposed Verb problem
apply
to become
sick Change preposition
than becoming
during
Change preposition
at
young
Correct article usage
a young
ages
.
Fix the agreement mistake
age
To conclude
, even though making independent decisions after school
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
this
house-related benefits and Correct determiner usage
these
undergoing
a sense of Verb problem
having
houseness
in mind, Correct your spelling
houses
responsibilities
which are required to do
are Verb problem
apply
for
more important to Change preposition
apply
gain
experience and taking advice.Wrong verb form
gaining
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay shows an understanding of the topic, but the ideas are somewhat unclear and not fully developed. For a better score, focus on organizing your thoughts clearly and providing more detailed arguments and examples.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be sharper and more concise. The body paragraphs should follow a clear structure where each paragraph has one main idea supported by examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by using linking words and clear topic sentences. This will help the reader understand the flow of your argument better. Break down long sentences to make the text easier to read.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views of the topic.
task achievement
Some relevant points are made regarding children's responsibilities and the benefits of free time.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.