Some young people like to copy the behavior and clothes of famous Korean people today. Why do you think this is happening? What impacts may it have on society?

#people #copy #behavior #clothes #korean #impacts #society

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In recent years, many youngsters have had to act

similarly

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to outstanding

Korean

Use synonyms

idols in the way of attitude and style. There are reasons and impacts behind

this

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phenomenon. I will explain it in the essay below.

Firstly

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, the massive development of media is a big reason for

this

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phenomenon. The advancement of the

Korean

Use synonyms

wave—the spread of

Korean

Use synonyms

culture— truly extends to the young people's circles around the world. If youth want to access

Korean

Use synonyms

information they can easily find it through the internet or social media and later they can adapt it to their daily life.

Therefore

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, a wise attitude is needed in every individual in dealing with

this

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case.

Secondly

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, some impacts that might happen from these circumstances as though increasing demand for everything

that is

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related to

Korean

Use synonyms

culture because of popularity and trends in the markets. In

this

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situation not only the entertainment industry that affected but

also

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some industries

such

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as fashion, lifestyle, and make-up.

Additionally

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, when people idolize someone excessively could lead to fanaticism as a bad influence. It might lead to hallucinations or other mental problems.

To sum up

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this

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discussion, the advancement of technology caused

this

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case and there are bad and good impacts which happened

according to

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this

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issue.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Mon Aug 05 2024

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task achievement

To improve task achievement, try to include more specific examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, mention specific Korean idols and trends or give examples of how young people imitate them.

task achievement

While your essay is generally clear, aim to develop your ideas more fully. Discuss the reasons and impacts in greater depth, making sure each point is well-explained and supported.

coherence cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. This will make your essay flow better and enhance readability.

introduction

Your introduction clearly explains the topic and sets the stage for your discussion, which is very effective.

conclusion

You have a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points of your essay, providing a nice closure to your discussion.

task achievement

The essay covers both the reasons and impacts of the phenomenon, which shows a balanced approach to addressing the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

209 words

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Some young people like to copy the behavior and clothes of famous Korean people today. Why do you think this is happening? What impacts may it have on society?

Word Count

The image you've shared appears to be a task from an IELTS writing section, requiring you to summarize the information presented in a chart about how families in a certain country spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018.

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: Your reason for writing What you would like to happen A nice, respectful style.

some people believe that in a city the best way to travel is by car while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that serious environmental problems can be solved by technological inventions and developments. Others think otherwise, saying that consuming less and having a simpler lifestyle is the way to go. Discuss and give your opinion.[386]