Some school are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, While other schools have a very relaxed dress code. (What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?)

There are several
school
Change to a plural noun
schools
show examples
that put too much focus on
school
uniforms and the style of their pupils,
however
, the rest have a low standard
about
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of
show examples
dress code. It
lead
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leads
show examples
not only
benefits
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to benefits
show examples
such
as
disipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
and
cost-effective
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cost-effectiveness
show examples
but
also
demerits
Change preposition
to demerits
show examples
such
as comfort and creativity. On the one hand, the
stricts
Correct your spelling
strict
rules about
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
can increase pupil's discipline and focus. They
not
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do not
did not
show examples
have to
Add a missing verb
be confuse
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confuse
Replace the word
confused
show examples
and
put
Verb problem
pay
show examples
too much attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
their outfits. Wearing
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
also
develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
show examples
their
dicipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
by using the clothes with suitable rules.
Moreover
, it can
promotes
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promote
show examples
equality since
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
can reduce the visible socioeconomic between
students
and
also
decrease bullying from the
atire
Correct your spelling
air
.
Additionally
,
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
can be more affordable for parents compared to buying a variety of clothes for
school
.
For instance
,
in
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apply
show examples
Highscope, One of the biggest
school
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schools
show examples
in Bengkulu,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
proves that parents only need to pay for at around five
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
uniforms
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of uniforms
show examples
for their children.
This
attire will be
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
for one
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
three years of
school
. The parents
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
able to save a lot of money rather than buy different clothes every single year.
On the other hand
, giving free choice for pupils to choose their own outfits will make them feel
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
show examples
. It happens
since
Correct word choice
because
show examples
some of
students
Add an article
the students
show examples
feel
unconfortable
Correct your spelling
uncomfortable
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
different weather.
For example
,
monday's
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Monday's
show examples
uniform
usually has a
long sleeve
Correct your spelling
long-sleeved
show examples
shirt which
unsuitable
Add a missing verb
is unsuitable
show examples
for hot weather.
Furthermore
, it can be
unpratical
Correct your spelling
unpractical
to use for physical activities.
Additionally
, Freely dress code can increase
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
creativity. The research by Indonesia University, The biggest university in Indonesia, said
at
Change preposition
that
show examples
around 80%
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of student's
show examples
student's
Fix the agreement mistake
students'
show examples
creativity
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
since they can free to
self expressions
Add a hyphen
self-expressions
show examples
about
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
. In conclusion, there are some advantages
using
Change preposition
to using
show examples
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
such
as
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
affordable
while
also
promote
Wrong verb form
promoting
show examples
equality and
dicipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
.
However
, several disadvantages are people
unconfortable
Correct your spelling
uncomfortable
to use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
Add an article
the uniform
show examples
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
for
particularly
Change the word
particular
show examples
weather and less creative.
Submitted by firmansyahafandy99 on

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Grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and avoiding typos to enhance the clarity of your ideas. For instance, 'dicipline' should be 'discipline' and 'unpratical' should be 'unpractical.'
Cohesion
Use more cohesive devices (linking words and phrases) to improve the flow of your essay. For instance, words like 'therefore,' 'hence,' or 'consequently' can help show the relationship between your ideas more clearly.
Task Achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion by listing both the advantages and disadvantages of school uniforms, which achieves the task requirement well.
Structure
Clear thesis statement in the introduction and a well-rounded conclusion.
Examples
Relevant examples have been used to support the main points, such as the reference to Highscope school and Indonesia University.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • socioeconomic differences
  • sense of community
  • bullying
  • attire
  • discipline
  • focus
  • cost-effective
  • variety of clothes
  • professional dress codes
  • self-expression
  • individuality
  • comfort
  • practicality
  • conformity
  • creative expression
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