The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public service instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Nowadays many
people
consider that the government should not exploit money for social activities
such
as music, painting, and dance. Moreover
using the budget for public services is evaluated as more profitable. From my perspective, arts
and others are as significant as least public services, and for
this
reason, I strongly disagree with this
opinion. This
essay will discuss why I disagree by giving related examples.
To begin
with, music, theatre. exhibit, and other arts
provide many benefits to the public. For instance
, if the offspring allow time
for these activities
they can become socialize and the risk of some mental problems declines for them. Moreover
, people
, not only children or adolescents, can evaluate their leisure time
with profitable activities
. To sum up
. the government bridge between the arts
and the public.
Secondly
, when people
exploit their time
with useful activities
, the rate of crime falls in the countries. People
who attend music, play or observe theatre can have positive character and also
have strong communication skills. In other words
, having more theater
halls, and concert Change the spelling
theatre
centers
is more beneficial rather than more hospitals, jails, or courts for public well-being.
Change the spelling
centres
On the other hand
, many people
believe that the budget must be consumed by public services. At some point, it can be a right comment. If the country needs to intensify its public service, in other words
, if the public struggles with the lack of some organizations such
as hospitals, and security forces, the government must focus on these fields rather than entertainment.
To sum up
, the investment in some subjects for leisure time
can provide many advantages for public health and well-being. I strongly believe that other subjects are a necessity for the public. Personally, I believe the benefits in terms of investments which is been arts
eventually outweigh any negativeSubmitted by serab.5091 on
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task achievement
While examples are provided, some are vague or general. Strengthen your argument by providing more specific and detailed examples to effectively support your points.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical and lexical inaccuracies which can impede understanding. Proofreading your essay before submission can reduce these errors.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using transition words effectively to link ideas. For example, use phrases like 'in addition,' 'furthermore,' and 'on the other hand' to clearly indicate contrasting or supporting ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt well and provides clear reasons for disagreeing with the statement that government investment in arts is a waste of money.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effective, clearly stating your viewpoint and summarizing your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a logical structure, with paragraphs dedicated to specific points, making it easy to follow your arguments.