The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public service instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Nowadays many
people
consider that the government should not exploit money for social
activities
such
as music, painting, and dance.
Moreover
using the budget for public services is evaluated as more profitable. From my perspective,
arts
and others are as significant as least public services, and
for
this
reason, I strongly disagree with
this
opinion.
This
essay will discuss why I disagree by giving related examples.
To begin
with, music, theatre. exhibit, and other
arts
provide many benefits to the public.
For instance
, if the offspring allow
time
for these
activities
they can become socialize and the risk of some mental problems declines for them.
Moreover
,
people
, not only children or adolescents, can evaluate their leisure
time
with profitable
activities
.
To sum up
. the government bridge between the
arts
and the public.
Secondly
, when
people
exploit their
time
with useful
activities
, the rate of crime falls in the countries.
People
who attend music, play or observe theatre can have positive character and
also
have strong communication skills.
In other words
, having more
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
halls, and concert
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
is more beneficial rather than more hospitals, jails, or courts for public well-being.
On the other hand
, many
people
believe that the budget must be consumed by public services. At some point, it can be a right comment. If the country needs to intensify its public service,
in other words
, if the public struggles with the lack of some organizations
such
as hospitals, and security forces, the government must focus on these fields rather than entertainment.
To sum up
, the investment in some subjects for leisure
time
can provide many advantages for public health and well-being. I strongly believe that other subjects are a necessity for the public. Personally, I believe the benefits in terms of investments which is been
arts
eventually outweigh any negative
Submitted by serab.5091 on

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task achievement
While examples are provided, some are vague or general. Strengthen your argument by providing more specific and detailed examples to effectively support your points.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical and lexical inaccuracies which can impede understanding. Proofreading your essay before submission can reduce these errors.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using transition words effectively to link ideas. For example, use phrases like 'in addition,' 'furthermore,' and 'on the other hand' to clearly indicate contrasting or supporting ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt well and provides clear reasons for disagreeing with the statement that government investment in arts is a waste of money.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effective, clearly stating your viewpoint and summarizing your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a logical structure, with paragraphs dedicated to specific points, making it easy to follow your arguments.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social cohesion
  • tangible benefits
  • economic growth
  • national identity
  • mental health
  • long-term cultural and emotional well-being
  • proportional allocation
  • economic development
  • diverse voices
  • immediate societal needs
  • non-monetary benefits
  • well-rounded society
  • stimulate local economies
  • boost tourism
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