IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #university #study #lack #workers #electricians #plumbers
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Nowadays, there are several debates among society members and researchers about the student's academic future and whether they have to pursue their academic studies at universities or whether they should get training courses in order to enrol directly in marketing. Personally, I believe that there is a huge need for qualified and skilled workers who have knowledge alongside experience.
Therefore
,
this
 essay will shed light on the reasons for
this
 choice.
Firstly
, diving deeper , when some folks think that studying is not beneficial and a waste of time. Actually, without knowledge, the engineers' and mechanicals' abilities will be limited.
In other words
, the training courses are not enough to gain the needed awarenesses of doing their work.
Additionally
, a survey that had been done in Spain showed that it is challenging for residents in Spain to find electricians who know how to fix the newest machines
such
 as washing machines and coffee makers.
Secondly
, regarding the idea that getting a certificate opens many doors for people to gain great jobs, even when others no longer agree with it, it is still an undeniable truth.
According to
 the News-Times, the majority of employees declare that having a university degree ensures having a satisfied life and a well-paid salary.
To conclude
, there is no doubt that training courses are essential to improve the practical side, even though pursuing a university education is as important as working experience
due to
 the fact that without knowledge things can not be done.
Submitted by tahanialessa2021 on

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents a clear opinion, but it could benefit from clearer organization and smoother transitions between ideas. Try to create a clearer structure with distinct paragraphs for each main point.
task achievement
While your essay responds to the prompt, ensure all points are fully developed. For instance, explain more about how university education provides skills that vocational training might not, and provide additional relevant examples.
language use and accuracy
Some sentences could be rephrased for clarity and grammatical accuracy. For example, "the student's academic future" should be "students' academic futures" and "residents in Spain" should be "Spanish residents."
task achievement
Your essay includes both sides of the argument, making it balanced and well-rounded.
task achievement
You have effectively included a survey and a reference to a news source to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion succinctly wraps up your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • vocational training
  • skilled labor
  • practical skills
  • job market
  • economic benefits
  • unemployment rates
  • job-ready
  • educational debt
  • societal stigma
  • balanced workforce
  • career satisfaction
  • technical trades
  • university education
  • employment opportunities
  • hands-on experience
What to do next:
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