'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' •To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction? •* Social media networks = messaging and information exchange systems such as Facebook and Twitter.
#people #media #networks* #fall #career #development #opportunities #•to #prediction #networks #information #exchange #systems #facebook #twitter
Somebody says that if
person
doesn’t Add an article
a person
the person
use
social media
networks, they can’t succeed in their jobs. I agree with this
statement and in this
essay
I would like to explain why.
On the one hand, a social network is an important part of our life and if Add a comma
essay,
don’t
see it we are probably lose
in our market. Change the verb form
are probably lost
are probably losing
For instance
, in real estate and sall
Correct your spelling
call
small
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
home
if you Add a comma
home,
don’t
use
social media
to advertise your
house what like to Correct pronoun usage
apply
sall
, you probably Correct your spelling
sell
call
lost
and can’t earn success because people haven’t looked to buy a house in Wrong verb form
lose
the
past way. They see the picture of that house Change the article
a
in
Change preposition
on
Correct article usage
the internet
internet
and check the location and if all of thing Capitalize word
Internet
was
good, now Wrong verb form
is
calling
with number and Wrong verb form
call
take
an appointment for Correct your spelling
make
visit
.
And the other hand, Correct article usage
a visit
use
Correct article usage
the use
social
networks is necessary for business matches that flow in markets. All companies are Change preposition
of social
competition
for Replace the word
competing
sall
more and more and if they Correct word choice
apply
don’t
see this amazing opportunities
that exist in social Change the determiner
this amazing opportunity
these amazing opportunities
media
they lose the game. For example
, everybody use’s
at least one social Correct your spelling
uses
media
and checks it in period
of time. Add an article
a period
the period
Although
, social media
has developed in our life and we use
it everytime
that we like to relax. And it’s the best time for a company to aim us to their goal.
In conclusion,and in my opinion, Replace the word
every time
use
social Wrong verb form
using
media
is invitable
in Correct your spelling
inevitable
this
day’s. If owner
of Add an article
the owner
Add an article
the career
a career
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
don’t
Change the verb form
doesn’t
use
it they cant
enhance and extend their business. Correct your spelling
can't
If
we like Correct word choice
Whether
or
not Correct pronoun usage
it or
this
fact is true that social Correct determiner usage
apply
media
is one of the most important part
of our Change to a plural noun
parts
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by hamedborna on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer organizational structure. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that this idea is clearly stated in the topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
Consider dividing your ideas into more specific, clearly delineated paragraphs. For instance, one paragraph could discuss why social media is important in personal branding, while another could cover its importance in networking.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your points. Currently, the examples are somewhat general and could be made stronger with concrete details.
coherence cohesion
Your language use is good, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Proofreading your essay for these issues can improve clarity.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the topic and provide arguments to support your view.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
task achievement
The essay touches on relevant areas where social media likely impacts career development, such as advertising and business competition.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.