Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, work and leisure activites. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relavant examples for your own knowledge and experience.

Technology
information
opens many ways of our lives
such
as
work
and leisure activities.
However
, there were many benefits
information
social media.It is useful to use modern
technology
. In
this
essay, the two viewpoints will be argued. On the one hand, it is believed by some
people
who use modern
technology
in their lives. The initial one to consider is that learning new
information
technology
is useful.
In addition
, when we have better
information
about jobs, we can improve yourself
such
as getting experience. A study published at New York University concluded that 90% of humans utilize modern ideas
technology
Correct word choice
and technology
show examples
in
work
,
for example
, school and company.
Therefore
,
work
and leisure activities there was an increase significant that was essential in life for
people
.
On the other hand
, other humans argue that modern
technology
has many disadvantages
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
our lives. first of all,
people
waste much time utilising social media during different periods.
In other words
, when boys and girls use modern
technology
, they can't generate new friends
also
don't support amazing activities in life.
Moreover
, the
technology
information
has a lot of problems for the body
such
as the eyes, hands and
minds
Fix the agreement mistake
mind
show examples
. In conclusion, modern
information
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
changed and assisted
people
support their
work
and business. From my own personal point of view, a lot of citizens need more
information
about modern ideas. It is better to exchange our experience about
this
issue. If we used modern computers, we would get more
information
.
People
should
development
Replace the word
develop
show examples
educational
information
.
Submitted by shaikhaalrashidi24 on

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coherence
Work on organizing your paragraphs more clearly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next.
task
Support your points with more specific examples and details. For instance, you mentioned modern technology helping with jobs; you could provide a specific job role that has greatly benefited from technology.
coherence
Try to reduce repetition in your essay. For example, the phrases 'modern technology' and 'information technology' are used multiple times. Aim for more variety in your language use to maintain reader interest.
task
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which provides a balanced view and shows an understanding of different perspectives.
coherence
The conclusion summarizes your viewpoints and reinforces your main idea, which helps to clarify your position.
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